Rude much.

27

"w-what?!" I stammered and leaned back in shock.
"Just answer me."
"Ah.... It wasn't much of a confession, he probably is confused--."
"He's not. He's so sure that he asked me how to get to your heart, but that was while we were in that stage when you and I didn't speak." I heard his muffled words ring in my ear. "I told him to get the hell away from me before I punched him, overall the conversation was chill."

I gasped and widened my eyes.

"You told him what?"
"I was not in a good position okay Ayejin, I missed you like heck, I was struggling, so I was in a bad mood." He shrugged, and lifted his face from the blanket. "Hug me."

I frown. He puts his face back down. I awkwardly position myself next to him and wrap my arm around his back. His soft shirt felt so comfortable under my cold hand.

He lifted his head and grunted as he moved slightly, lifting my leg around him, then went back face down.

I sighed and thrummed my fingertips along his back.

Then suddenly, his breathing pattern changed. I rubbed his neck comfortingly, realizing that he was sobbing.

He kept sobbing silently, as I ran my hands through his hair and rubbed his neck.

"I feel so guilty Ayejin." His muffled voice surprised me.
I paused, and lifted his face by his chin. He stared back at me, a small tear trickling down his red cheek. I rubbed my thumb softly against his cheek and shook my head.

"You aren't, you did what you had to do. If it were someone else, they wouldn't even have gone to check on their brother. But you did, you risked yourself. You did what you could, and more. The rest all lied in fate." I held his face in my hand and watched in despair as he let out a whimper. He reached out and hugged me tight.

"You're the only one who believes in me Ayejin. I love you so fucking much." He said through my hair.

I tightened my grip on him.

"I love you too." I whispered back.

**

"Let's not look back and talk about it, as if we're nostalgic about the past." Seungri said looking down.

I sigh and hesitate before wrapping my arms firmly around his neck.

I rub the back of his neck gently and pull back, he stares into my eyes and licks his lips. He moves in slightly but then roughly turns around and curses.

I flutter my eyes and feel the velocity from that almost-a-kiss moment. Seungri tugs at his hair and sat on the ground in frustration.

I stood there frozen. dad chose this moment to walk in, his face went completely red, with his two fingers, he motioned me to come out to the hall with him. Guess who's in trouble?

He took my wrist and hauled me as far from my room as possible.

"What did I say about boys in your room?" He hissed in a whisper. "It's not lady-like young woman."

You know what's not lady-like? Feeling the rush of almost kissing someone, from two different people. I stood there bowing my head.

"Alright."

As I turned to leave, dad took my shoulder gently and turned me back around.

"We need to talk."

With that, he went to his room, closing the door with a click.

I sigh through my mouth and make my way back to Seungri. He had his chin in his hand, and he seemed heavily bothered.

I sat criss-crossed across from him.

"Let's take a break for at least a week. What we need is some time."

He nodded in agreement and stood. I looked up at him, he didn't seem like my same old, smol best friend anymore.

He smiled widely and waved.

I nodded and waved back. He pat my head and left. Left me stuck. Left me wondering....

**

I watched Netflix for an hour when dad knocked. He came in and sat at the end of my bed. I nervously bit my lip, anticipating the dreadful words.

"You know, more than anyone, why we keep moving."

I knew it. Something else to add to my list of struggles.

I nodded.

"You seem to have went along with my moving constantly all these years. And I have a feeling you wont be so, okay, with it this time."

I nodded in agreement.

"But, you must be reminded, that this is for our angel in the sky. For our north star, we must bring justice to my woman. To my love, who was ripped away from me. From us." He said holding up his clenched fist in the air.

I sat up and hugged my knees.

"And Im close more than ever to unveil it all. Please, bear with me one more time." He said lowering his hand and looking at me pleadingly.

Was I willing to move, leave Seungri, Ravi, Majoon, Hyuna.... The first people that I've called close. Was I willing to give up happiness, to break Seungri and Ravi. To leave Ravi when he mostly needs me, to abandon Seungri in this time? Was I actually willing to give up all that, for dad's happiness and fulfillment. For my mother's justice, that may not exist.

To give up all that, for something that may not even be true.

I wasn't willing to. My heart just wont let me. But there's the side of my heart that's tugging at me. Mom.

She was torn from me, when I was so young. But Ive learned to accept it. I've chosen to accept what happened happens, and that mom is in a much better place.

Dad snaps me to the present.

"One more time." He whispered.

I looked up and felt guilt shower me. Dad has dealt with his child alone, he raised me on his own. He's dealt with all my tantrums, and now he has to deal with a terrible daughter. Who ditches class, skips practice, lies...

"When?" I whimpered out.

"I was thinking three to five more months to settle things. Thank you so much." He patted my hand and left, closing the door softly.

I can't tell Ravi or Seungri yet, they aren't ready. They're already suffering with something of their own.

I balled up my fists with the fabric of my blanket.

A/N baby hot enough! damit. xD i have the album (Chained up) and the photobook is BOMB like, hold up, legit, went through the book over and over for like an hour XD RAVIxKEN photoshoot made me scream. ok sorry for teasing if you have yet to seen or gotten the photobook.

What'd you think? I bet you hate me because of the ending (Your face while reading this chapter --------> ~_~) ~Ariana

Edit: this chapter was pretty lit 🙃LMAO