I'm lonely..

Valentine Dance

So over all..this dance had NOTHING to do with Valentines, which is good for meh. Because I'm lonely.  The  first half hour it was fun and stuff...but then I just got awkward, and pulled out my tablet, and started listening to mah emo stuffs. And the music they had at the dance was...it was meh. And at one point I was basically invisible. But, I went to be social, it didn't go as planned. Meh. So there's the Whi and Nae Nae song going on and I'm like...BIATCH I GOT FALL OUT BOY IN MAH EAR DONT BOTHER ME. And 5sos OBVIOUSLY. I declined food 2 or 3 times. Didn't really dance...I just talked and did akward things with my hands...I'm such a loner..but it's not all that easy, a lot of people don't think I even have a soul, (well I do it's just corrupted in darkness). Sometimes, we like having someone to talk to, FOR EXAMPLE, I have some friends who know exactly how I feel, and it helps sometimes, but I wasn't the only awkward person there...(you know who you are...). But, loneliness isn't always fun, for example, if someone reminded me of all the things I have to cry about, I'll be honest, I WOULD CRY. I can get emotional at times..BUT NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN ME CRY AT MY NEW SCHOOL. Sure I've texted someone at my school while I cried (you also know who you are) but..technically, I haven't. But overall the dance could have been worse, I'm just soooo glad they didn't play Ariana Grande that 12 year old sounding "adult".  But, I feel so invisible in places like that, but you might be wondering...WHY DID YOU GO?! I'm going to give a straight answer, I like the feeling, of doing something that doesn't make me look like I "have no life" I like the feeling of talking to people. But, there are a lot of things I'm scared to do, and they are just like any other human beings. I'm scared to admit my flaws, I'm scared to admit my feelings, I'm scared to see who I like with another person. But, I know that I can't have everything I want, and I'm far from perfect (ugh I sound too motivational) and I've seen who I like with another person, and I know that the person I like doesent like me back, but I might be able to live with that. SO LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF YOU LONER/EMO/PEOPLEWHOHAVENOLIFE. Don't let who you like, ruin your life. Don't stop being friends with a person, if the person you like, likes them, or vice versa. Don't be over dramatic and act like your life is ending. Because its not. Don't take something too far. Don't ever think you don't deserve something, because it doesent come to you automatically. I've had soooo much experience with this type of thing, rejected, hurt, but now I just don't say anything. If anything I'm still waiting for my moment. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm sad a lot, listen to music that might not be popular, I do get depressed easily. But one thing that we all have in common, is we all have feelings, so what if you don't get something delivered to you on Valentines, it means you are independent, you don't have to be committed. I'm really bad at being being determined, I'm one of THE BIGGEST procrastinators ever. I do my homework, the class before the homework is due. I'm not responsible. But around Valentines day, LETS AGREE THAT IT'S ALL OVERRATED. So Mrs. Lonely..actually said something, and for everyone who ever reads this, I find writing my way of opening my feelings. I'm not good at telling anyone anything. Especially secrets, I will do whatever I can to get out of it, I will choose Dare so many times if you played truth or dare with me. Because I don't like answering questions. Anyway thanks for actually listening to me rambling on. Anyway 

Do Svydania! (Russian for goodbye) 

One more thing, i literally gave away the majority of my secrets. Congrats.