Outside and Inside

Part 6

Oh, Joel,

Have you heard? Barry is dead! The most terrible thing about it was that he was murdered by his own brother. Ferdie shot him in front of us from his safe position behind the wire. Shot him with no hesitation and no sign of remorse.

I do not really know what happened. One moment Barry was there on the outskirts of our camp and then he was up by the wire. He was just standing there in front of Ferdie. Just silently standing there. Then Ferdie lifted his gun and pointed it. I couldn't stop myself from screaming out but it did no good. There was the crack of a shot being fired then Barry was on the ground.

Why won't they let us get to his body? If any of us try to approach they spray the ground with bullets. Are they really intending for him to be left out in the open? Or are they going to take him inside for burial?

The outrage here is tremendous. If we only had some sort of weapons I am sure that Mortown would now be under attack. Some of the men are all for attacking anyway, especially the younger ones, but my father and a few other older men have persuaded them to wait. They want to plan an assault on Mortown rather than launch an uncoordinated attack.

The worst thing for us is that they are talking of sabotaging the supply trucks. It is the only logical way we have of attacking from outside. I fear for Slovarek's safety should they attack. He has helped us so much but I cannot tell anyone about it. I know that here he would be considered as much of a traitor as the guards. If they do catch him they will show him no mercy. He will become the target of their outrage over Barry's murder. Warn him if you can!

Please be safe. If writing to me puts you in danger inside there, don't do it. I will understand. And as thankful as I am for the supplies you sent out again, stop sending them if there is any chance of discovery.

Whatever madness has taken over Mortown I think that you are just as much victims as we are.

I am desperately hoping that I will be able to stay in touch with you. I can't lose you.

Forever thinking of you, Amber.

***

Dear Amber,

I hate that you should have had to witness such a thing as Barry's shooting. I hate that such a thing should have happened at all. And to think that Ferdie carried out this cold blooded execution..... It is almost too much to believe.

I have not seen or heard anything of Ferdie since then. There is more supervision now and I rarely get away from the kitchen at all. It is almost like fate has decided that we should not be able to make contact with each other.

Perhaps there is a fear that if we communicate we may get together to overthrow them. And maybe we would if they were not so heavily armed while we have no weapons at all. Those of us here that are lower rank have no more access to arms than you do. Maybe that fear was what led to Ferdie being ordered to carry out that execution. Maybe he had to prove his allegiance.

It pains me to warn Slovarek about an attack on the supply truck. If he is not driving I will not be able to get any further supplies out to you. And neither will I be able to send out my letters. By far the worst consequence to me though will be the lack of communication from you. You may not believe me but your letters have been as essential to my survival as you say mine have been to yours.

I wish that I could talk to your parents. We used to get on so well and now they think that I am a traitor! Those of us inside are just as much a victim of whatever this madness that has overtaken Mortown is, only in a different way. I and your neighbours were never complicit in your exile.

I cannot bear to end this letter to you not knowing when I will be able to contact you again but finish it I must. My absence will be noticed if I stay hidden for much longer.

Stay safe, Amber. Know that you are forever in my thoughts and that I will fight for you when the opportunity arises.

Believe in us. We will be together again, Joel.

***

My dearest Joel,

It is almost too hard for me to write this when I know I will not be able to get it to you. But I believe we will find a way to be in touch with each other again and I will save this for then. Maybe one day you will get a big pile of letters from me, or better still I'll find myself back in your arms.

We did the right thing in warning Slovarek. He has been such an unexpected good friend to us. If we ever get to have our wedding you should make him 'Best Man'. The talk of attacking the supply truck is increasing but I have not heard of any definite plans.

I am so thankful for your supplies. I am sure that without them at least a few of us would have starved before now. People do seem to be looking at me suspiciously though. I guess that me being there to pick up the dropped box three times does look a bit odd when no one else has found one. I have not been accused of anything outright but if it had happened more I think that I would be. Nobody has turned down the additional rations it has brought them anyway.

There is more sickness but I do not know if it is the same thing. Nobody has rapidly deteriorated in health. It is more like the flu that passed round Mortown several years ago. I hope that it is not the same infection as Mabel and Thomas had. I do not want to watch any more of us die, especially as my mother is one of the sick.

I could not tell anyone about your suggestion of the spring but I did spend some time searching by myself. And to the back of Mortown I did indeed find a spring. The water seems clear and smells pure. I have drunk some and if I stay healthy I will show the others and make out that I just found it. And if I get sick from it I won't be responsible for anyone else drinking it. Of course, if it is pure it will be a great benefit to those that are ill and then you would know that you have saved some lives with your advice.

I can hear my name being called so must hide this away quickly.

I will love you forever, Amber.