A Love That's So Demanding

Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love

Edited by: Trensetta

I never should have followed her into the shower, I knew that it was a dangerous thing to do, but my sheets still smelled of her shampoo and the spot next to me in the bed was cooling off. Before I knew what I was doing I was in the shower with her. When Travis came in I had to come up with a quick excuse for why my hair was wet when I wasn’t the one taking a shower. So I quickly started to bleach my hair, he bought it too. I don’t know if I should have felt relieved or extremely guilty. I find myself thanking God that we weren’t caught, and then condemning myself to the pits of hell for having sex with her in the first place.

The worst part is that I actually have feelings for her, even though I know that she’s my best friend’s girlfriend. She’s been like a sister to me for the longest time, but the thoughts I have about her now are definitely not brotherly.

I left the apartment in a hurry. I really did have to get to band practice. I walked the two blocks to the Way brothers’ house with thoughts of Nonnie still running through my head.

Mikey and Gerard were becoming really good friends of mine. I’ve only been in their band for a few months but they already feel like life long friends. When I got to their house Mikey answered the door.

"Hey what’s up?" He said moving aside with a surprised expression on his face.

"Nothing, am I late?" I asked.

"Uh no, your actually really early. What happened to your hair?" he asked looking confused.

"Oh I just thought I could use a change is all. Where's Gerard?" I asked sitting my stuff down by the couch.

"Down stairs, he's been reading comic books all morning," he said plopping back down onto the couch.

"What about everyone else?"

"Oh, Ray is on his way and so is Bob," he said flicking on the TV.

"Okay, cool." I said leaving him and heading down stairs.

"What's up Frankie?"Gerard said looking up from one of his many comic books.

"Nothing." I said sitting down on the on the couch next to him.

“Nice hair."

“Thanks.”

We sat in awkward silence before Gerard finally spoke up.

“How long have we known each other?" he asked.

I thought about it for a second."A couple of months now, I guess."

"Yeah that's about right." He said with a thoughtful expression on his face.

He stayed silent.

I finally broke the silence."Are we going some where with this trip down memory lane?" I asked jokingly.

"It’s just that I know you well enough to know when there’s something wrong."

"There's not anything wrong with me, so I guess you don't know me as well as you think."

"Yeah... right. Tell you what, when you get that stick out of you butt, I'm here to talk if you need me." Then he went upstairs, leaving me to wallow in my thoughts. I knew that he was just trying to help but I couldn't tell him about Nonnie and I, I couldn't tell anyone. What would they think of us? I knew that no one would ever understand.

I just stayed in the basement waiting for the others to arrive, trying to come up with a way to bring my suffering to an end without hurting either of us the process.  I realized awhile ago that I wanted Nonnie to be more than just a friend, that random sex wasn’t enough for me. But I didn’t know how she felt about me, what if she was still in love with Travis? It would probably be better to just end it. I didn’t know what I’d do if she didn’t feel the same way.   

When Ray and Bob got there we got set up, and started to rehearse a new song that Gerard had written, something about Vampires. Bob started on drums and then I started the intro, Gerard’s voice cut in, the lyrics moving smoothly with the beat of our instruments. I was instantly calmed, all of my worries simply vanished as if they’d never been. I loved music… when nothing else was going right I could always count on my guitar.

We finished practice and everyone else left to their various destinations. I chose to stay. If I didn’t go home then I wouldn’t be tempted to do something stupid, like confess my feelings for Nonnie in front of Travis… Yeah it would be best stay here a bit longer. Besides, she and Travis were supposed to be celebrating tonight. I don’t think I could bare to hear that.