A Love That's So Demanding

Ending It

Chapter 4

I moved closer to Travis as we lay in bed. "Congratulations," I whispered into his ear. His eyes were closed but he smiled as he drifted off to sleep I lay there in Travis' arms and all I could think about was Frank, where was he? I wondered why he wasn't home, he couldn't be hurt because what we had was just sex to him. I was the one letting my feelings get involved. I hated the fact that I was falling ridiculously in love with Frank but neither one of us wanted to hurt Travis.

I felt Travis get out of bed. Then I heard the sound of his belt buckle as he put his pants back on. I looked at the clock it was only ten at night, we'd only been asleep a couple of hours. He couldn't even stay the night. "Travis where are you going?" I asked.

"I have to meet with the guys, so that we can start working on some songs. I won't be back until morning," he said it like it wasn't a big deal, but it was. Frank would have stayed, wouldn't have wanted to leave my side. Ugh! "Why are you thinking about him, it doesn't matter if he would have stayed or not. You're done cheating," I admonished to myself. I didn't say anything out loud to Travis, I just rolled over and pulled the covers over my head. I heard the front door open and sighed with heartache and frustration.

"Hey Frank," I heard Travis say. "Do you want to come with me, you know, meet the new band?"

"Maybe another time," Frank said, he was standing in the doorway. My heart skipped a beat, I could just imagine what he was thinking as he watched Travis get dressed. A minute later I heard footsteps and then the door to his bedroom close. "Night babe," Travis said pulling the cover from over my head as he leaned down to kiss my cheek.

Then he left, without a backwards glance as if I had been a small pit stop on the way to do what was most important to him. I got out of bed and slipped on a t-shirt. My intention had been to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, but I ended up going in the opposite direction to Frank's room. I stood there for what seemed like ages seriously reconsidering my state of sanity. But I needed to see him, to tell him that it was over between us. Or maybe I was just using that as an excuse to speak to him, if only for a few minutes.

"Come in," he said. I took a deep, calming breath knowing that once I was finished talking to him tonight, it would all end. Every embrace we shared, every mind blowing kiss would become a memory never to be repeated again.

When I opened the door he was sitting on his bed,a pair of sweatpants draped low on his hips. I instantly became aware that I was only wearing a large T-shirt, a fact I knew wasn't lost on him. I should have put on more clothes. I stood in the doorway afraid to sit anywhere near him, knowing from past experiences that the moment he touched me all my thoughts would become jumbled and we wouldn't even think about stopping until we'd already gone too far.

"How was your day? I asked.

"You don't have to stand at the door." he said, I could hear a huskiness to his voice that told me what he'd do if I got close enough. I took another deep breath.

"Look... We should... I don't want..." I didn't know how to break this off. What were the right words? The words that wouldn't ruin the part of our relationship that may be able to survive this. "We can't do this anymore. I love Travis and this would kill him."

"I agree." I wasn't expecting him to make this so easy. "It ends now." He got off the bed and walked toward me. He kissed me on the cheek keeping his hands behind his back. I knew it was a struggle for him not to touch me, just as I was struggling not to move closer to him. "Goodnight," he said I turned and left his room. This was the first time we both decided that we should stop, the first time we weren't in the throes of passion promising ourselves that this would be the last time. I crawled into my cold and lonely queen sized bed.

I tossed and turned thinking back on how innocent we all were back in high school. I'd met Travis only moments after meeting Frank for the first time and he took my breath away. I sat there staring at him for so long that Frank had to tell him my name after he'd asked for it. I kept thinking how handsome Travis was, I mean Frank was no slouch in the looks department either, but Travis had what I can only classify as classic good looks. I remember praying that I wouldn't say something that would be embarrassing or babble like an idiot in front of him, but Travis was the type of person who could put even the most squeamish of people at ease. Within moments I was laughing and relaxing like I'd known them both my whole life. That was something I'd desperately needed being in a new area and a new school.

I heard my bedroom door open and looked up to see Frank standing over me. The look in his eyes said it all and I wanted so badly to lift the covers and invite him into bed with me. To feel the warmth of his body next to mine and the feel of his hands as the moved across my skin. Just remembering the ardor with which we'd made love this very morning caused shivers to go through my body.

"I..." he started, but stopped as though he couldn't think of what to say next, though we both knew why he was in my room again.

"Frank, go to bed." I turned away from him. I couldn't let him see how much that hurt me, to tell him that I didn't want him lying next to me in the lonely bed. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep take over.