Matt sat shaking, staring at his hands, trying to reclaim the oxygen that his night terror had stolen. His violet eyes remained wide open as he gasped, sweat beading on his forehead. The second his brain registered that he could move, he turned sharply to what he hoped would be another person, the person he needed most.
Though he had just reclaimed his air, he let it out in a long sigh of relief that shook on its way out. Matt carefully reached out to the sleeping form next to him before he found himself falling forward and clutching at it.
Matthew awoke violently, feeling Matt grip his torso, pulling him against his chest.
He buried his face in Matthews back, mumbling and shaking.
Matthew started blinking his tired eyes, slowly starting to absorb his surroundings.
"M-matt? Hey, Matt?" He said, his voice still rough and thick with grogginess.
"Ne vont pas , je suis désolé."
"Matt, what? What are you-"
"Ne vont pas , je suis désolé."
Matthew felt Matt's grip tighten even more, and he could feel him shaking. He finally understood what was going on.
"ne vont pas , je-"
"Je ne pars pas." Matthew interrupted Matt's steady chant, slowly working to unlatch Matt's arms from around waist, despite his struggling to hold on.
Matthew finally succeeded, and Matt, the man who had seen people drop dead before him, actually whimpered, his eyes shut, refusing to accept anything. Matthew sat up, and pulled Matt's head into his lap, and Matt's arms instantly found a home around his waist.
Matthew brushed Matt's long blonde hair out of his face before bending over to kiss his forehead, starting to hum softly.
"De l'est à l'ouest , il est vous, j'aime le meilleur.
Du Nord au Sud , il est vous je me soucie .
Je te suivrai , et de continuer à vous aimer tous sur la carte.
et je l'espère ne jamais oublier cela." Matthew sung softly, petting Matt as his breathing evened out, his face relaxing.
"Je ne pars pas." He whispered again, feeling Matt's grip loosen from his waist slightly as sleep overtook him.
Matthew sighed in relief, smiling softly down as Matt as the moonlight danced on his face. No, it was not the first time this had happened, and Matthew would bet good money it wouldn't be the last, but he didn't mind.
From what he was able to get out of Matt, on tired nights when neither of them could sleep at all, Matt's night terrors were always the same these days, he always lost the same thing. He had lost everything in his life, his family, his friends, his dignity, hell, even his sanity at one point. He had never allowed himself to gain anything in life, for fear of losing it.
That is, until he met Matthew.
Now, instead of seeing the dark closet he had been locked in by his father, or the car ride that had taken his best friend at the age of only 13, he saw Matthew leaving. Leaving him surrounded by bottles upon bottles of booze, the labels mixing together like some cruel recipe for destruction. Matthew left him every time for the same reason; Matt had become the person he swore to never be. His father. A drunken, abusive mess. Each time he tried to stand up to grab at Matthew, the one thing that gave him light, he was thrown down by his own sickening intoxication.
The first time Matthew had heard all this, he broke into tears, silent and agonising, feeling himself break apart knowing that Matt was hurting so badly. Overtime, he had worked out a simple routine of calming Matt, putting him back to sleep, even staying up all night to make sure he stayed that way. He would deny it in the morning, hiding his tired eyes behind his glasses for Matt's sake. But Matt knew, and despite his immense guilt, he felt so lucky.
Lucky to be able to wake up each time, and not be alone anymore.
Lucky to have him.
~I have no idea what this is. Wait yes I do, it's shit XD.
Translations for the ones who don't speak french.
Je ne pars pas.- I'm not leaving
ne vont pas , je suis désolé- Don't leave me, I'm sorry.
The lullabye Matthew sings is something I wrote and translated to french:
From the east to the west, it is you I love the best.
From the North to the South, it is you I care about.
I will follow you, and continue to, love you all over the map.
and I hope you never forget that.
Thanks for reading, Tcüss~
