Gorillaz One-Shots

What's 2D's Age Again?

<< Set on 2D's 23rd birthday, based on the song. You all know what song. But if you don't, the lyrics are here, and I'll reference them quite a bit: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/blink182/whatsmyageagain.html . Also: it's set in Phase 1 because I can't even be bothered to look up the canon timeline, much less follow it. Also! There's a reference to another song in here. Can you guess what it is? First to guess gets a special surprise. Hint: it's from a musical. >>

2D laid in his bed, fast asleep. That is, fast asleep, until--

"Nobody likes you when you're tweeeeeenty-threeeeeee!"

Upon hearing the door fling open and the loud, slightly off-key singing, he screeched and fell off his bed in a tangle of blankets, his face hitting the floor first with a thud. He kicked and punched, only succeeding in wrapping himself up more, until Murdoc came over, and untangled him once he finished laughing.

"Wake up, you dullard. It's your birthday. What, did I plan this party for nothing?"

"Wake up? What time is it?"

"Midnight, May 23rd. Now get up."

"Midnight?" He grumbled and stood, grabbing clothes from the floor. "Only you would plan a party at midnight just to make a dumb joke."

Murdoc chuckled. "You have no idea."

And later on that day, Murdoc's statement proved to be true. Because he made the same jokes. All. Day. 2D was eating his cake, when Murdoc hung up the wall phone and walked over to him.

"Hey, I just called Paula. You know Paula? Of course you know Paula. Anyways, she hung up on me."

2D grumbled, putting his head down on the table and pushing his plate away. "Look, you can make the stupid joke all day. I'm 23, I get it. But can you leave her out of it? I don't like thinking about... that. Bad enough you... you know..."

Murdoc shook his head. "No, no, you've got the story all wrong. So, I'll admit me and Paula were kissing, maybe making out even. Then she took off my pants... but then I turned on the TV-" He smirked and jumped onto the table, using a bottle of beer as a microphone. "And that's about the time she walked awaaaaay from meeeee!"

2D sighed exaggeratedly and walked away.

"Hey Stu!" Murdoc hopped down from the table, picking up Noodle. "Here's your Asian friend."

"Konnichiwa!"

"That's not even the bloody words!"

And even later on that day, 2D just sat innocently in his chair, reading the newspaper. But of course, Murdoc sauntered into the room with a stupid grin on his face.

"I hope this state doesn't look down on sodomy. Because then I'd be in some trouble... if you know what I mean." He winked.

"Murdoc, please, I am trying to read."

Murdoc rolled his eyes. "Why should I care? I don't care. I just think it's something we should be able to talk abo--"

"Murdoc!"

"Oh, fine, fine. Big baby. Anyways, here's your gift." He held out a lazily wrapped bottle, and 2D took it, tilting his head.

"What is it?"

"... cologne. To get the feeling right."

"For the love of..." He set it down. "Thanks." His sentence dripped with sarcasm.

But finally, he reached the end of the day. He'd gotten through all Murdoc's jokes, and Noodle singing happy birthday in broken English on a continuous loop, now finally  he could get some sleep. He settled down into bed, putting his head on the pillow. But just before the clock hit midnight...

"What's my age again?! What's my age again?!"

2D didn't fall out of bed this time. He barely moved. "Murdoc, you're a nob. Go to sleep."

"Ah, fine. Just wanted to get one last joke in before the end of the day. Happy birthday, Stu-Pot."