Abuse // 5sos (Book 1 & 2)

Chapter 7: The Deal

Emerald's POV

I felt my brain prance in my head but my limbs wouldn't move. I figured, like every other suicide case, I was put on paralysis.  

A rough hand suddenly clasped around mine. Nick?

But it was Luke. His hard thumbs rubbed circles into my palm as his other hand caressed my cheek, as if to ease his own pain. His cold fingers sent a tingly sensation through my body and I instantly felt butterflies dancing on my stomach.

 His voice, my favorite sound in the world, echoed through my ears. 

"You know, before I met Emerald, I didn't even know what love was. All I did was use girls and I'll admit, she was just someone that I could hook up with without getting in trouble. The paparazzi, Michael and the fans all fell in love with her, but I didn't even appreciate it. Sure, I said I loved her so many times but, I never meant it... at first. Look, with every new fan I got, there was an extra pound of pressure on my head. The management had taken the fun out of doing what I love. I realized I had become the spoiled celebrity character that everyone despised, the one that lived for fame. And for some reason, every time I hit or abused her, I felt better. Its stupid, but the fact that she didn't leave me showed me that I had something to made her stay ...that we had something. I didn't even give her any credit till she moved out of my apartment. I thought that if Ashton died and she got her legs back, she'd forgive me. But she still left and that hurt more than you could possibly imagine. I went from the boy who never shed a tear to the man that cries himself to sleep everyday thinking about all that he had and how he let it all slip through his fingers." 

By the end of his confession, I couldn't control my emotions. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, whispering how much I forgive him. The fact that he could that admit all that meant that he truly had changed.

I never thought a guy, especially Luke could have so much running through his head. 

I wish things had worked out differently and that Luke could rightfully be mine. I wish that I could kiss him without trembling with fear. 

"I never knew you were so deep. Its so wrong... but I... I think I forgive you. I should still hate you, but I don't."

Jazz? How was she here?

"I told you, but I've changed. She gave me so much that I took advantage of it. I only truly fell in love with her once she left me." I felt my entire body melt. At that point, I knew I couldn't hate him any longer.

I was under his spell again. The one I've been trying to avoid for years.

"Good bye Emerald. I'll always love you and I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you. All I can hope now is that you wake up, because without you I am nothing."

Luke was leaving? But why? 

His soft lips came in contact with my cheek, along with his hairy stubble. He ran his finger along my lip, as though it was forbidden. 

"I should get going now. Tell Emerald I love her. And if she doesn't wake up, make sure Nick doesn't kill Nikki." Luke's raspy voice echoed through my eardrum. Wait, where was he going?

I tried to get up, but my limbs weren't cooperating.

"Luke... wait." someone cried.

I don't want him to go. He gave me a taste of freedom and happiness. He can't leave me like this.

I had to fight the medication... somehow. I can't let him go. He's the other side of my story.

I felt my fingers twitch slowly, followed by the rest of my body. My body lunged forward.