My Heart Remembers Differently

No More Weakness

Ron saw me when as I made my way to the table where he, Harry and Ginny had been eating lunch.  His eyes widened when he saw the anger in my eyes. 

"H...H...Harry..."  He squeaked much like he had seen a massive spider.  Harry looked away from Ginny's face and at me.  He straightened as if bracing for a fight.  Good call, Harry.  I think to myself.

"Hermione."  Harry stood.  I stopped in front of the table.

"I am through being in the dark, Harry.  Either you talk to me or I kill myself trying to remember."  I said letting him know that I was angry.  He paled and swallowed, but I could see he was willing to argue the point.

"Who do you think you are coming over here and demanding---"  Ginny stood with fire in her eyes.

"That is enough!"  I said to her cutting off whatever harsh comment she was about to say.  I decided to confront Ginny's animosity towards me and not allow her to keep glaring at me and being hateful without me defending myself.  "I have no idea what your problem is, Ginny Weasley, but I do know it is not with me.  You came to me last night and apologized.  You are another one who, I am sure, knows what happened to me and has not bothered to let me know.  If you are mad about my being Head Girl and Malfoy Head boy, then I have no idea how to help you understand that I had nothing to do with who was chosen for those positions."  I said in a low angry tone.  Ginny had the decency to look embarrassed, but still I saw a defiance in her green eyes.  Almost a hatred towards me that made no sense.  But, my confrontation did have the reaction I was hoping for with her.  She sat down and quieted.

I looked back to Harry.  He let out a deep sigh that sounded remarkably like defeat and turned to walk out of the Great Hall.  I started to followed him.

"Hermione!"  Ron called to me as I walked away.  I turned to look over my shoulder at him.  "We need to talk later.  Just you and I.  Okay?"  He looked hopeful.  I nodded and turned back to follow Harry.

We ended up in the courtyard making our way to one of the unoccupied benches nearer where the stone courtyard meets the grass.  Harry sits down and I sit down beside of him.  I am so angry at him for keeping things from me and so sad that he didn't feel like he could tell me.  I try taking deep breaths, but I am still wanting to scream in the short silence.

"You are having memories, aren't you?"  He asked not looking at me.  He was staring out towards Hagrid's newly renovated hut that looked remarkably like his old one. 

"I don't know.  Flashes maybe.  You and I are arguing, but I don't know what about."  I said.  He chanced a look at me.  "I have only had one real memory that I am sure happened after Ron left us in the forest."  I said.  Harry stiffened and looked back out over the grounds.

"What is it?"  He asked quietly.

"When Bellatrix marked my arm.  I remembered seeing Draco's face.  I remembered him moving as if to save me, but his father held him back."  I said.  Harry frowned and looked back at me.

"I didn't know about that."  He said sounding confused.  "Malfoy tried to save you?"  Harry's voice held surprise.  I nodded, understanding his surprise.  The fact that the Slytherin who had hated me and had been very vocal about that hatred had wanted to save me from his deranged aunt still was a source of awe to me. 

"Malfoy is... different.  When he arrived yesterday, we actually had a civil conversation.  I still don't trust that he won't curse me in my sleep, but I do know how to use protection spells."  I reminded him.  He smiled, like I wanted him, too.  "Harry, how did I die?"  I ask him.  He groaned and buried his face in his hands.  "Please, Harry, talk to me."