Pillow Talk

Bad Company - B

Bad Company B

Eddie stirred and slowly woke up from a deep, exhausted sleep. She reached over and felt the sheets beside her, wanting to feel the soft skin of Jamie's chest, roughened only slightly by hair. She kept dreaming about those girls, and about her mother. She needed to have Jamie hold her, she was just ashamed to ask him. He was upset with her again, he spent most of the last couple of days being that way.

Eddie sighed when she felt cool, empty sheets under her hand. She slid out of bed and padded to the living room and saw Jamie standing clad only in his boxers in the moonlight coming in off the window.

"Hey," Eddie said softly going and sliding her arms around him. "Are you okay? Sunday dinner not agree with you?"

Jamie's arms came up and settled onto of Eddie's, "Just couldn't sleep, that's all. Shoulder's bothering me, I guess."

"You guess? If I hurts you should know it right?" Eddie replied. He never really mentioned having problems with his shoulder. "You want me to rub it for you?"

Jamie shook his head and turned so he could face her. "It's fine. I just can't sleep that's all. I..."

"Me neither," Eddie confessed. "I actually had a bad dream and I woke up so you could..." She felt embarrassed all of a sudden confessing her own fears and her need for his arms in that moment. Jamie wasn't about to let her off the hook so easily.

"Could what?" he asked softly. "Tell me."

Eddie looked down, "Hold me. I need you to hold me, Jamie."

Jamie opened his arms and pulled Eddie in close to him. "I'm here, I'm right here. Eddie if you are too scared, if you are starting to feel like this isn't right...I won't think less of you if want to..."

"No," Eddie replied firmly even as she stood in his protective embrace. "No, I can't do that. I have to go through with it. I studied so hard, and all I can think about are those poor girls."

Jamie laid his cheek on the top of Eddie's hair, "Is that what the dream was about?" Jamie asked softly.

He felt Eddie shudder in his arms, "It was...about that but instead of it being Anna or one of the others it was...my Mom."

Jamie sighed, "Oh, sweetheart." He rubbed her back, "Come on back to bed. We can talk about it."

"Can we just stay here like this for a while?" Eddie asked. Jamie was unsure if she was just missing her mom or if she was more afraid than she was willing to let on.

"Sure we can." In that moment, Jamie would deny her nothing. Eddie needed him to be her touchstone right now, to let make things very simple at home so she could concentrate. He knew there was so much that could go wrong tomorrow night, that every instinct in him wanted to make today easy and simple.

Jamie swayed slowly from side to side enjoying the feel of Eddie against him, and the idea of her needing him in this way warmed his heart. Jamie slid a hand up Eddie's back and stroked her hair up and down in slow, gentle strokes. "You miss her a lot," Jamie observed. "Your Mom? I know I miss my own mother every day."

"What was she like, Jamie?" Eddie asked softly. "Your Mom?"

"Oh, she was beautiful," Jamie remembered. "She used this vanilla scented body lotion, and whenever I miss her, I put a little of it on, just so I can smell it and think of her. Next to my Dad, she always looked really small, but what I remember the most is the way she believed in us. She had that mother's belief that her children could do anything, she told me when I was fifteen, "Jamison," she always called me that, "You will be Suma Cum Laude, you are so smart." I believed I could too, and when I did, she was beaming."

Jamie's voice caught, "You lost your Mom a lot younger than me, and that had to have hurt. I think that you...really missed out on that part of your life. I wish I could give you back what you lost, but I can't any more than you can give me back Joe."

Eddie stepped back, "If I could take that pain away..."

Jamie dropped a kiss on her forehead, "I think that's part of why I'm so...you know. About this. I lost Joe, he was my best friend. Then Vinny...we were becoming close...but you. You are the love of my life and if they harm one hair on your head."

Eddie stepped closer to Jamie and hugged him with all the strength in her 5'2" frame. "They won't, I have so many reasons to be careful on this operation, Jamie, so many reasons now to come home safe. I love you."

Jamie dipped his head and kissed Eddie deeply. He sighed into her mouth, exploring it with his tongue. She tasted so sweet, he loved kissing her, it was as if all the feelings they had for each other were exchanged inside that one action.

Eddie sighed into Jamie's mouth, they had not yet taken things to the next level, but his kisses were enough to bring her to her knees.

"I heard you got Danny to agree to bring you on the tail," Eddie murmured when they came up for air. "Don't you trust him to keep me safe?"

"No, not without him knowing what you mean to me, Eddie. Danny will think about the op first, I have to be there...I'm your partner, I have your back, inside of this relationship and outside," Jamie replied. "I'm not letting you go to the lion's den alone."

Eddie smiled, "Thanks. I needed to hear that. I am..." She took a deep breath. "I am a little scared."

"You should be," Jamie replied. "It's scary stuff, but let me tell you this, it's good to be scared. Being a little scared heightens your senses, it makes you more alert, and pay more attention. Just remember your mother's story, remember that you stand between those girls and a horrible future, and most of all remember that I am out there with Danny and if you need me I will be there, I promise you that. If you are in trouble, hold onto that fact that I am going to find you."

They kissed again, then walked back to bed with their arms around each other. "Jamie," Eddie whispered as he pulled her into his arms in their bed. "Promise me you won't go off halfcocked, if you do have to come in. Promise me you'll be careful too. I don't want you to die saving me, it won't be worth it."

"It would," Jamie replied. "You are worth my life, Eddie. I need you to believe that. I need you go into this believing that someone on the outside values you that much!"

"I do," Eddie assured him. "I know that and I will come out of this. This time tomorrow we'll be lying here again, remembering how scared we were tonight and celebrating taking down some really bad people. I promise you we will."

Jamie stroked Eddie's back and hair until she finally fell asleep in his arms. Jamie, was unable to drop off, he wanted to remember every moment like this...just in case.