Pillow Talk

Absolute Power - C

"You were too!" Eddie laughed as Jamie dropped next to her on the couch with a beer. "I saw you brushing tears out of your eyes when they took Dad away."

"Okay, so maybe I was crying...a little," Jamie admitted. "But after seeing you go through such Hell the last few days, it felt good to see you do that, to let go and to give into what you wanted to do all along."

"I did not want to do that all along," Eddie protested stealing Jamie's beer and taking a long pull. "But I have to admit it feels better to let all of the anger go. Things aren't healed, but they are better."

Jamie closed the tiny gap between them, "Wouldn't it be nice if by the time we are ready to go public and make things more official, your father was out of jail and able to participate in some of that."

Eddie turned to look up at Jamie, "What like a wedding?" she asked. "Yeah of course that would be great but I don't know if I even want to get married in the traditional sense."

Jamie's eyebrows crawled into his hairline, Eddie didn't want to get married? Jamie pulled back from her, his body showing hurt before it registered in his brain. "But I thought we loved each other?" Oh, boy, did those pathetic words really cross his mind then come out of his mouth?

Eddie turned again and looked up at Jamie's blue eyes, "We do, Lambchop," Eddie said quickly. "Oh, Jamie, I'm sorry. I meant marriage in the traditional sense like a white dress and my Dad giving me away. I see us having something down at the pier or under the arch in the park, just us and Danny and a friend of mine, something small and intimate and special." Eddie reached up to caress Jamie's face.

Jamie smiled and leaned into her touch, "That would be beautiful, Eddie. A sunset wedding with the russet sun on your hair, beautiful...Just close family and a few friends, no one that you didn't feel comfortable with being there." Jamie cupped Eddie's cheek and kissed her. He understood her family circumstances made Eddie very skittish of large family driven events, their wedding day, whenever it came, would be the happiest day of her life even if he had to make a few sacrifices. That was perhaps the greatest thing about his relationship with Eddie, her happiness was enough for him and the other way around as well.

Eddie sighed into his kiss opening her mouth to allow him entry. She hadn't been very open to his advances since losing the baby, but today felt different. Just as Jamie slid his hands inside her top, longing to feel the weight of her ample breasts in his hands, his cell rang. At first, Jamie ignored it but it rang again.

"You better get that, it might be important, even your family isn't the incessant," Eddie whispered pulling back.

Jamie reached for his phone, "It's my sister. Hey Erin..."

Jamie listened to Erin describe Danny's injuries. "Is he going to be okay?"

Eddie sat up and put her hand on Jamie's back, another incident with is family that would keep them separated. If this was serious though, she was going to hold him to his word.

Jamie hung up the phone and looked at Eddie, "Danny was beaten while he was attempting to catch the serial killer. He rescued the girl but he's in the hospital, cuts, bruises, and broken bones."

"Oh, my God, Jamie!" Eddie gasped. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No, Erin said he's going to be released and that Linda is kind of put out with him so the rest of the family is clearing out too. I'll check on him tomorrow."

Eddie could feel Jamie tensing up, breaking their romantic mood. "Tell me," she requested.

Jamie took a breath, "Every time I get a call like that, Danny got hurt or Dad or even Pop...It's Joe all over again. I'm back in that moment on that day and I can't seem to separate the feelings. It is so incredibly scary, even in the hospital when...I was with Joe partially too, not just you. I know I need to stop it..."

Jamie leaned back frustrated. Eddie took in their beer bottles to throw away giving him a little space. "You want to go to bed?" she asked.

Jamie sighed, "I don't know, Eddie. Do you think we'll ever have a week or even a day without something going wrong?"

"No," Eddie replied leaning over and rubbing Jamie's chest. "We're cops, you have a big family, there is always going to be something, that's why being together is so important. When is your first session?"

"Thursday," Jamie replied. "Apparently she's terrific at grief and acceptance so hopefully she'll straighten me out."

"She?" Eddie asked.

"Eddie, come on," Jamie laughed. "I love you."

"I was just kidding, gosh," Eddie sighed. She wanted to make love to him, she missed him. Slowly Eddie turned and pulled Jamie down towards her. "Thank you for all you've done for me since everything happened with Dad. I needed you and you were there. I promise you, while you are working on your grief over Joe, I will be there. If you want me on the couch next to you or if you need space. I will be there."

Jamie stroked Eddie's long hair as she leaned up to begin kissing him. Eddie's hands roamed his muscled arms and chest, Jamie pulled back. "We can't Eddie, the doctor...he didn't say it was okay. He said we had to wait."

"I feel fine and I need you, Jamie," Eddie whispered. "Please...make love to me."

Jamie looked into her eyes shaking his head at her. As much as Jamie wanted to give in he knew doing so would be dangerous.

"Not yet babe, I promise it'll be worth the wait." Jamie lifted Eddie onto his lap slipping his strong arms around her waist.

He leaned in kissing her softly gently rubbing her stomach under her shirt.

Eddie sighed needing him, wanting him fully. Instead she lay her head on his chest letting him rub her stomach while she listened to his heart beating for her. "Eddie you know I want to right? I just the doctor said..."

She nodded knowing what the doctor said hearing him plain as day. "I know Jamie, I just need you."

Jamie tightened his arms around her kissing her head lovingly, "I know babe I need you too."

With Eddie in his arms Jamie stretched his legs out across the couch repositioning Eddie so she lay over him clasping his arms under her shirt. Jamie's hands caressed her back, his skin burning hers. "When we do, Eddie...I promise you it'll be so wonderful. I just can't do that and know I'll hurt you. If we want a family someday...with you."

Eddie leaned up and smiled, "I already have a family with you." Eddie leaned back in Jamie's arms thinking about all that has happened since they admitted their love. They had up and downs, but they had each other, she hoped they always would.