Pillow Talk

Backstabbers

"I'm sorry," Eddie replied putting her feet on Jamie's lap. "You didn't think that girl was on the up and up and I pushed it."

Jamie pulled one of Eddie's socks off. They had puppies on them. "Really, Janko? Aren't you just a little too old for furry things on your socks? Especially when they actually have fur on them."

"Don't judge me," Eddie pouted playfully as she pulled her leg back only to have Jamie tickle her foot and pull off her other sock. "Your feet are really hot," he laughed. "And I love the little zebra bit you have going on here. When did you do that?"

"Had it done earlier today, I had to decompress a little bit," Eddie replied. "Being back at the college it brought back some memories."

"I bet it did," Jamie smiled. "Boys swarming all around the most beautiful girl on campus, pledging the best sorority. You were the girl that was untouchable to guys like me."

"For a year or so yeah," Eddie replied. "Then things hit the fan with my father and things didn't go great after that. The kids were merciless, a lot of them had families that lost money in my dad's scheme, it was really tough."

"How tough?" Jamie raised his eyebrow. Eddie rarely talked about college or much of her past. He knew her mother died when she was a few days shy of sixteen and that her father was arrested while she was in school but that was it. Jamie never felt it was good to push her to talk about things she felt uncomfortable talking about.

"Death threats on my door, no one wanted to be my roommate..." Eddie confessed. "Then there were the guys."

Jamie felt his back go up, "Oh, Eddie...If you don't want to talk about this."

"They would approach me and some would demand attentions from me," Eddie replied. "No one ever took it that far but it was ridiculous."

Jamie sighed and moved to hug Eddie to him. "So that's why you were so gung-ho to believe this girl. You were that girl."

Eddie nodded, "I had no idea how hard it was going to be. One day, I got up to go to class and there was a dead possum on my doorstep. I screamed and finally this kid, his name was Stuart...He came running and removed it but I was terrified after that. I called my dad and he said that he would take care of it for me. That was the last time I trusted him."

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head, "What did he do?"

"Pulled me out of school," Eddie replied. "He had me transferred to John Jay which was fine for what I wanted to do but still..."

"Well he was trying to protect you, that's good," Jamie replied. "And if I had been there..."

"But you weren't, but you are now." Eddie hugged Jamie tight and kissed him. "What about you? I bet you were a stud in college?"

"Just the opposite actually," Jamie laughed. "I was the sheltered youngest brother in a big Irish Catholic family. It was daunting being on my own that far away from my family. I was scared to death and stayed in my room for almost a month."

"What happened?" Eddie asked curious about this part of Jamie's life.

"Spencer," Jamie replied. "My other roommate washed out and Spencer transferred in. He was just the right blend of calm and adventure and slowly I started to make friends. Then I met Sydney and we started dating steady."

Eddie rubbed Jamie's arm, "It had to be hard losing her, having all that history."

"Oh, yeah, it hurt big time," Jamie admitted. "She was there for a lot of things but it was the beginning of the end when Joe died. I was a total mess, I was so sick...I did nothing but vomit for days on end, the shock was...I needed her."

"But?" Eddie turned and began to stroke Jamie's hair.

"But nothing, she wasn't the nurturing type. "She held me, she loved me, but it wasn't what I needed in the long run. It was the beginning of the end, when I started to investigate Joe's death...She couldn't cope, there really was nothing left by the time she decided to go."

"Sounds like we both had a rough go in college but we came out all the better. I hope that for Nikki's friend too. That she can come back next semester more sure of who she is and what she's about."

"That's what college is for, learning our niche," Jamie replied. "I'm just sorry that you had a hard time honey. I wish that you had a better experience, I'm just glad you didn't end up like Chrissy."

Eddie sighed, "I almost did. Three weeks into John Jay, I had a bag of sleeping pills I got from different clinics and I planned to swallow all 40 pills. I stood in the bathroom, I put the pills in my hand, and I looked in the mirror. I saw my mother's face looking back at me and somehow from deep inside I found the strength to throw those pills down the toilet. That was the day I decided for sure to become a cop. I thought of it when I got into trouble after mom died, but that day in that bathroom, I made the choice."

Jamie tightened his arms around Eddie, "I'm so glad you did, and I thank God or your Mom or whoever was up there that made you throw out those pills. I love you so much Eddie."

Eddie sighed and snuggled up to Jamie. She had never confessed that to anyone before and was so glad that she told Jamie what happened that day. "What do you say we call Nikki and see if she wants to hang out this weekend? We aren't going to tell her but maybe just spending time with us as partners and friends..."

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head, "I think it's a great idea. She needs a strong, younger female role model. If that's you...I would be so happy. It'll make it easier too when we do go public to have Nikki and Danny in our corner."

"How is therapy going?" Eddie asked, Jamie had been updating her but was quiet the last couple of weeks.

"It is going well, in a few weeks, we might go visit Joe's grave and tell him about us...she says that'll be a big step. I'm ready for some big steps."

Eddie smiled and tilted her head to say she wanted a kiss, Jamie leaned down and captured her lips as she whispered, "So am I."