Fandom Imagines/Preferences

Remus Lupin Imagine (Marauders Era) *Okay?*

Hello lovelies! Just so you know...this scene is pretty depressing. It deals with minor references to self harm and depression, so as a word of caution I suggest that if you feel uncomfortable reading such situations that you skip this chapter. Thank you all so much!
Love, Alexandria :)

You could feel your bare feet begging you to stop, and yet you willed them to run faster; As you sprinted through the dim woods you could feel twigs and broken glass cut in to the soles of your feet, but you knew you couldn't stop. You listened intently for any sign, any sort of clue that might help you find him..Nothing. "Hello?!" Your voice was already becoming hoarse from your shouting; You paused, gaze immediately snapping to the sky. The clouds had begun to cover the enormous moon that lit up the sky. Perfect. "Remus!" Your throat burned as you screamed out his name, your heart pounding so hard you could feel your pulse drumming against your temples. He had to be close by. A sharp cry pierced through the night, causing every hair on your body to stand up on end; The terrifying screams came and went like a beacon of anguish and agony and the moment the sound filled your ears you had taken off with a heavy heart, eyes frantically searching for any sign of life nearby in the forbidden forest. The moon was now completely hidden by the dark clouds that swirled in the ink colored sky, and with every step you became increasingly grateful for their presence. "Remus!" A twig suddenly snapped off to your left, hope and urgency filling your ever sense. You ran as fast as your legs could carry you, your only objective was to find the young boy you cared so much about. When you spotted a figure limping a little ways ahead towards a large tree, your feet stopped dead in their tracks. It was him. He was evidently weak, looking as if he could collapse any moment as he slid to the damp forest floor with his hand clutched to his side. He had been hurt badly, and as much as it pained you to watch you managed to restrain yourself. Upon seeing the horrific and heartbreaking sight before you, you could feel your heart sink in your chest as your breathing seemed to stop all at once. An ungodly scream pierced through the silence as the young werewolf threw his head back, the sound almost like a howl. Remus laid a few feet before you, curled up in to a tight ball as he trembled with terror as he tugged and yanked at his hair so hard it seemed as if he wanted to tear it all out as he let out blood curdling cries of anguish into the night. Your eyes fell upon terrible wounds that made themselves at home on his arms and now nearly naked torso: Fresh raw cuts and scratches that leaked a violent shade of red that he had no doubt inflicted upon himself. Large claw marks were gashed across his chest, and he had begun to claw and tear at his own skin as if it was some sort of prison that he wished to be free of. It was almost as if he was trying to separate from it...His sobbing turned to painful screaming and shrill cries of agony, and you now knew it was time to intervene. If you didn't, he would probably be close to death by the time he finished. "Remus!" His head snapped up, his eyes flashing violently with an absurd mix of terror and animosity as his eyes darted to find the source of the sound. However, you managed to stand your ground. You quickly made your way over to him when he didn't acknowledge your presence, not certain of what to say. "Remus, are you alright?" His pale eyes found your face, scooting away from you as he held a hand out to hold you back. "Get away from me." His voice sounded like a deep, throaty growl, his voice laced with dangerous venom that took you by surprise. "It's too dangerous for you to be out here." "We need to get you to the hospital wing! Look at you..." "Get out of here, (Y/N)." His tone was increasingly urgent and yet you still approached him. "(Y/N)! (Y-Y/N), get out of here!" He raised his voice, almost shouting as he backed away from your advances, "Please, go! Get out of here! GO!" His demands became more desperate with every step you took until he was practically pleading and begging for you to listen to his advice. You reached for his shoulder cautiously, your heart pounding in your chest as you mustered up all of your courage. "Remus-" "-I said get away!" His voice no longer sounded human as he turned suddenly to face you, shoving you away with so much force that you fell to the ground, yelping in pain as something cut deep in to your leg. Shards of glass covered the forest floor had sliced in to your skin and your arm burned where you found two large gashes from his claws. Pain seared up your arm as you pushed yourself away from Remus. He was now approaching you slowly, his dangerous growl bringing tears to your eyes as he hovered over you. You were stunned in to silence as you looked up to find Remus, looking as if he was possessed; His jaw was clenched in a menacing way as his wide eyes darted here and there with a crazed look in them, looking at you as if you were to be his next kill. He had never acted out like that towards you...Upon hearing your distressed cries he looked down at you, but any sort of malice or animosity melted away as his eyes fell upon the red liquid oozing from your cuts and the tears streaming down your face. His eyes widened as he looked from your wounds back up to your face, timidly taking a few steps towards you. Out of fear you pushed yourself farther away from him, practically paralyzed. Instead of Remus, a crazed animal stared back at you; Your breathing was shallow as he reached out to touch you, causing you to flinch. "Don't you dare...!" His glassy eyes began to once again pool with tears at your suddenly repulsed motions, knowing he was the one to blame for your sudden change of heart. The crazed animal melted away and a petrified Remus took it's place, not knowing what to say. "I...I hurt you, didn't I?" His voice was barely above a whisper, his trembling hand covering his mouth. "Oh...Oh, god, I've hurt you!" He fell to his knees with his head buried in his hands while he tugged at his hair, a gasping sob escaping his lips. "I didn't mean to, I...I just..." He could barely speak a complete sentence before beginning to blubber, his entire body trembling with the force of his violent tears. This was the worst it had ever been, and you could see that it was killing him. "I didn't mean to..." Any trace of fear left your body in a sudden rush of guilt and sadness upon seeing him in such a fragile state, and you had managed to crawl over to his weeping frame. The moment you placed a hand in his back he reached out and engulfed you in to a bone-crushing embrace, almost like a child does when they experience a terrible nightmare. Remus' nightmare, however, was beyond a bedtime scare. It was a reality that would never end. He buried his face in to your neck, his flood of tears now searing in to your own skin. "I'm alright, Remus. I promise." You ran your fingers through his hair to soothe him when the overwhelming smell of whisky entered your nose: He had been drinking. That would explain the glass...His hysteric crying turned in to hyperventilation as he clutched on to you as if his next breath was to be his last, violent sobs causing his entire body to quake as he buried his head in to your chest for some sort of comfort. You couldn't choke back your own tears any longer; seeing him in so much agony nearly killed you. This curse was a weight on his shoulders and it got heavier every single day until he finally snapped like a twig.He clung to you as if you were the only thing keeping him alive, his fingers digging in to your back as he struggled to somehow get closer to you. "I'm a monster," he wailed, sniffling uncontrollably. You shook your head, rocking him gently. "Don't say that-" "-Why has this happened to me?" He blurted out, pulling back so his bloodshot eyes could look in to your own. The tears that pricked at your eyes began to sting, your stomach knotting as you searched for what to say. You couldn't pretend to know what he was going through and you knew that you could never understand, try as you might. "What did I do wrong?" He was practically begging you for an answer to a question you didn't understand. He couldn't blame himself for his fate; This curse, this ceaseless torture, this agony...he didn't deserve any of it. If you could take the burden off of his shoulders, if you could live through this hell for him, you would do it in a heartbeat. "You've done nothing wrong," You choked out, giving him a gently smile as you wiped away his tears, "You're the bravest person I've ever met." "Then why do I want to die?" This was the only thing of which you were completely certain: No matter how much the Marauders teased and made light of Remus' situation while Remus smiled and laughed along, they never understood exactly what he goes through. To see him so completely bare, utterly fragile and defenseless, was not a sign of weakness. He was, in fact, the bravest person you had ever known. To put on a smile while deep down inside he's spiraling in to this darkness...to see how one truly feels about himself, to witness someone who always seems so composed completely break down when they are stripped of their walls...it was the hardest thing anyone would ever could to do. You leaned up and kissed his cheek, wiping away the stray tears that fell. You loved him so much...He placed his head on your chest, his panicked breathing becoming stable as he listened to the beat of your heart for comfort. The sun was beginning to peak out through the trees, the soft oranges and pinks welcoming a brand new day. You shifted to get a better view when Remus' hoarse voice graced your ears and his grip tightened around your waist as if he was afraid that you were going to leave him alone once again. "Please...don't leave me," His words barely audible, "I love you, (Y/N)," He almost sounded desperate, as if it was the last thing he would ever say, "I love you so much." "I love you too, Remus." He had fallen asleep against you, completely worn out from the events that had ensued, a sad smile crossing your lips. "It will be all right," You choked out, gently kissing the top of his head, "I promise."