LA Devotee

Chapter 16

*trigger warning. please be careful while reading**

"Stop!" Pandora laughed as her boyfriend wrestled with Sean on the floor, "Mark!"

"Babe. Why?" He laughed as he sat on Sean's stomach. Pandora just looked at him like it was obvious, "Because either you're going to hurt yourself or you're going to break something." The two of them ignored her. She let out a sigh and looked toward Sydney, who was just staring into space.

"You okay?" Sean asked as Mark got off of him. He hopped up and sat next to her.

Sydney forced a large, fake smile that everyone seemed to believe. "Yeah. I think I'm going to head home, I'm feeling kind of sick. And Sean, I swear if you come after me instead of having fun, I'll have your brain in a jar." Sydney lied, throwing in a small laugh at the end.
***
Sydney dropped on to the floor of her and Jack's shared bedroom. Tears were streaming down her face as gut wrenching sobs slipped from her lips. She curled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them, burying her face in her arms to try and muffle the noise.

Sobs and cries continued to rip from her throat as she dug her nails into her arms, hard enough to leave a mark but soft enough not the break the skin. Words of hate kept running through her mind. Pathetic. You are pathetic. Crying because of nothing? You're so weak. The voices would say. Why don't you do everyone a favor and disappear?

Those were the words that would always tear through her mind when she got like this. "Shut up!" Sydney screamed, standing up instantly as she had enough. She ran to the bathroom and quickly searched through the drawers. When she found what she was looking for, she crushed the shaver under her shoe, the blades falling out. "Is this what you want?" Sydney whispered as more tears fell down her cheeks.
***
Sydney was now laying in bed, a loose t-shirt covering the fresh marks on her stomach. She threw away all evidence of ever doing what she did. She was just about to drift to sleep when she heard the voice of her favorite person from the door way.

"Babe?" Sydney gently turned over to look at her lovely boyfriend. She threw on another one of her award winning fake smiles as she sat up. "Hi." She whispered tiredly. "Hey princess, did I wake you?" Sean asked, his face growing guilty. "No, no." Sydney instantly replied. "I was almost asleep, but not quite."

"Oh," Jack started, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Do you want to go to sleep?" He asked. "Kind of. Do you want to lay with me?" Sydney asked. "Of course." Sean replied, smiling as Sydney lifted up the blankets so he could crawl in. Sydney laid back down, turning so her back was facing him.

"What did you do while I was out?" Jack asked, tracing small shapes on Sydney's side. A pang of guilt hit Sydney's heart as she spoke. "Watched tv and laid here, mostly." She replied, a guilty look covering her features. "That doesn't sound very fun." Jack replied with a chuckle as he wrapped an arm around Sydney's waist and pulled her closer, Sydney involuntarily wincing from the pressure on her cuts.

Sean frowned, looking confused. "Syd?" Sydney breathed in deeply. "Y-yes?" She stuttered out, mentally cursing herself for not staying calm. "What happened to your stomach?" Jack asked, eyeing his girlfriend. "Nothing.." Sydney whispered unconvincingly.

"Let me look." Jack replied, gently turning her to face him. "N-no!" Sydney almost yelled. Sean back up slightly with a surprised look on his face. "I-I mean.. No.." She whispered. "Sydney. What are you hiding?" Jack asked sternly. "I-I.." She started as tears filled her eyes. "Just tell me." Jack frowned. Sydney slowly lifted up her shirt to show countless cuts covering her entire stomach.

"S-Sydney.." He whispered in disbelief. "I'm sorry.." Sydney whispered back, tears falling down her face.