1000 Reads

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**In honor of getting my thousandth read, I have uploaded this chapter. You guys have no idea how excited I was. I screamed and started jumping up and down, scaring my dog. Thank you guys so much!!

Conversation 1:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: I love group hugs from drunk people!

You: They always turn into these inspirational pep talks,

You: and you're feeling so good about yourself, right?

Stranger: Pardon me?

You: Like you can do anything.

You: But then you realize they're drunk.

Stranger: Excuse me?

Stranger: Sir?

Stranger: Ma'am?

You: And that they probably got everything they're saying from a cheesy sports movie.

You: DUDE.

You: TRYING TO TELL A STORY HERE.

Stranger: Beg your pardon?

Stranger: Lower that voice.

You: Anyway, then you feel like "Damn."

Stranger: Sir?

You: But then they do a team break, which confirms your theory about the cheesy sports movie,

Stranger: Sir.

You: But it's hysterical to see them fall over from trying to bounce.

You: WHAT.

Stranger: I will not speak with you unless you speak properly back.

You: WHY DO YOU INSIST ON INTURUPTING ME?

You: IT'S RUDE.

Stranger: I apologize. Continue.

You: No.

You: You ruined the mojo I had going.

Stranger: I apologize once more.

You: No you don't

You: You sound like Lincoln.

You: Why do you sound like Lincoln?

Stranger: I'm not sure if that is supposed to be a compliment or a mean thing.

Stranger: I do not know, ma'am.

Stranger: If you don't mind me asking, are you on your menstrual cycle or...?

You: Don't make me stuff my tampon up your butthole.

Stranger: I deeply apologize.

Stranger: Calm down, ma'am.

You: You're only saying that because I brought out the tampons!

Stranger: I most certantly did not!

You: You so did!

Stranger: Did not!

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