Making Friends with Unlikely Perverts

497 2 0
                                    

**There is suggestive/violent content in the following material.

Conversation 1:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: m

You: F. Want me to whack you off? ;)

Stranger: yes

You: Great! I'll go get my chainsaw!

Stranger: thats nice but your hands will do just fine

You: B-But... I really want the chainsaw D:

Stranger: or your mouth ,you can also use your mouth

You: You stick that thing anywhere near my mouth I'll bite it off like it's a carrot stick and feed it to my best friends Rottweiler.

Stranger: tell you what, you bend over, ill stick it in your a$$ and do all the work

You: Psh. Men think they've got the good stuff.

You: Maybe I have crabs. What then? Huh?

Stranger: well hopefully i find that out before im balls deep in your a$$

You: Maybe I don't have one. Maybe it burned off in a fire.

Stranger: your crabs burned off?

You: You know what? I like you. In a weird, twisted way I think I like you.

Stranger: well thats good, wouldnt want this to be wird or anything

Stranger: weird*

You: This means commitment, you know.

Stranger: i can keep my hands off the chainsaw

You: Crabs or no crabs.

You: :D Yay! My chainsaw!

Stranger: i guess im doing the bobing and weaving then

You: Psh. Heck yes. I belong on a thronw.

You: *Throne

You: I was a queen in a past life, you know.

You: With my chiansaw.

You: I'm gonna be sad when we have to part ways.

You: *Tears up*

Technical error: Server was unreachable for too long and your connection was lost. Sorry. :( Omegle understands if you hate it now, but Omegle still loves you.

Conversation 2:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: Hurro!

Stranger: waassap!?

You: Running away from the smurf lair because they figured out I was a spy :\

You: Stupid blue bastards.

You: Can I call you Simon?

Stranger: sure

Stranger: but my name is mike

You: :D Hi Simon!

You: No it's not. It's Simon.

Stranger: ok fine

You: Did you get me a Valentine's Day present?

Stranger: i did

Stranger: IT'S IN MY PANTS! 0.0

You: :D YAAAAAAYYYYY!

You: :O NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

You: Ewey.

Stranger: it's a chocolate and gift card

You: D: You soiled perfectly good chocolate!

You: That was not a wise choice Simon.

You: I got you a flower but then I eated it.

Stranger: did it at least taste good?

You: Hmm. Yep! It tasted like roses.

You: So now when I burp the air tases like roses, too!

Stranger: i must eat your burps then

You: :D Someone finally understand!

Stranger: so what do you look like!?!

You: All sexyness combined into the form of me.

Stranger: i like all sexyness

Stranger: (and you) :D

You: Me too!

You: :D I feel loved!

You: HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY SIMON!

You: But now I have to go eat bacon chicken.

Stranger: wait! [This sounds like the begining of a cheesy romance]

You: Nothing comes before bacon, not even you Simon.

Stranger: what is your real name!? [Continuation of cheesy romance...]

You: Bond. James Bond. [Ha, I never did like cheesy romances]

Stranger: 0.0

Stranger: your pecs are flawlessly hairless

Stranger: SO!

Stranger: uh

Stranger: what's your real real real name!?

You: *Admires my pecs* That they are, young Simon.

You: DAMNIT! YOU BLEW MY COVER!

You: Meh. If you want to know bad enough you'll have to keep this chat open until I'm done eating my bacon chicken.

Stranger: but but but but but but but but

Technical error: Server was unreachable for too long and your connection was lost. Sorry. :( Omegle understands if you hate it now, but Omegle still loves you.

***

Damn Omegle! She's such a b*tch! xD

Exploring OmegleWhere stories live. Discover now