Soon enough, the best part of my day was the end of it. Lindsey would sleep beside Maggie to protect her from herself. I would meet Luke on the rooftop, and we would laugh about how our lives were pieced together. This night I'd been especially spilling on Luke. He was lucky if he got a word in edgewise.
I rubbed my neck. "I really just need to shut up.
He scoffed. "Yeah," he muttered under his breath.
"What did you just say?"
I could see the dark circles under his eyes from stress piling up. "Look, I can't just sit here and listen to you go on and on about your problems. You want to fix them? Do something about them."
"Oh yeah? And where did 'doing something' get you? Suspended. Kicked off the football team. Your parents are on your back, I know that much."
He rolled his eyes. "At least I can say I acted. I took the chance. You could actually do something."
I threw my hands up, starting to walk away. "You know what, I'm done."
"Oh okay, and you said that I was the one who always left. Take a look in the mirror, Little Miss Perfect."
"Oh my God!" I screamed, whirling around to face him. I was fuming. "Do you even know me? Did you ever know me, Luke? I've known you my whole life, and all you've done is leave." I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.
He stormed towards me. My entire body shook. Luke shattered three of Jace McBride's ribs. Who knows what he could do to me?
But I didn't back down.
He glared at me. "Know you?" he scoffed. I was on the edge of tears as he tightly grabbed my wrist. I turned away, trying to shake away his grip. He spoke again. "I know you slept with the lights on until you were thirteen." I stood still, refusing to face him. "I know you're afraid of ending up like your father. I know you never liked your eyes." He finally let go of my wrist. "I know you'd rather read than be at a party." He began to walk around me to see my face. "I know in third grade you decided that you wanted to be a musician."
"Stop," I whispered.
"And then in sixth grade you started playing guitar."
"Stop it."
"I know that when we were eleven, we thought your dad died."
"Luke, please stop."
"I know that I was the first one to the funeral. And you cried on my shoulder."
"Stop it!" I shouted.
"I know that you thought your world was coming to an end."
"Stop! Luke, stop!"
He finally raised his voice back at me. "But it's not, Harper. Don't you see? This is just the beginning. You are so much stronger than you think you are, and all you do is sit on this rooftop and think you're no good. But you know what? You're so much better than you could ever think. That's what I know."
It fell silent on the rooftop. Only the sound of cicadas arose from the night for what felt like an eternity.
"Can I tell you something?" I whispered, looking up to face him. He nodded slowly, shoulders still heaving up and down from his outburst. "I am terribly, miserably afraid of heights. Yet, I'm on this rooftop every chance I get."
He furrowed his brow, but remained silent.
"Lindsey hates it when I'm up here, you know? She thinks the only reason I face my fear to sit on these slanted shingles is because I could just step right off and be done with it all." I saw him close his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut as if to chase that thought from his mind. "But that's not me," I murmured, feeling sorrow and realization sting in my tear ducts. "God, that's her. I come up here because, ever since I was little and Daddy tripped on prescriptions and Mama guzzled down vodka and I rocked back and forth to keep sane, these stars were the only things that have ever been constant. The only things that I know won't leave."
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
I smiled mournfully. "Yeah, me too."
YOU ARE READING
Free Fall. // l.r.h.
Fanfiction"We are all broken. That's how the light gets in." ~Ernest Hemingway
