"Lindsey, guess what!"
"What?" she said flatly, swinging Eli onto her hip.
"I got a job!" I cheered with a wide smile.
She frowned. "No you didn't." I raised an eyebrow at her. "You already have a job. You're helping me raise these two demon spawn."
"Hey!" Maggie shouted, placing her hands on her tiny hips.
"Not you, Sweet Pea. You're a darling."
"Hey!" Eli groaned, realizing what Lindsey meant.
She shrugged at him. "Sorry, bud. You pee on the floor."
"Anyway..." I said, directing her attention back to me. "Now I'm also a barista at the coffeehouse downtown."
"Oh yeah? How are you planning on getting there?"
"It's only three miles away. I can walk."
"You'll sweat in the coffee."
"Shut up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey."
I looked up from the espresso I was stirring to see another employee hovering over me. She had frizzy red hair shoved into a ponytail so fluffy it could barely be tucked underneath her cap with "Vienna Coffee Co." printed on it. Her golden eyes crinkled at the corners to match her crooked grin.
I was silent, offering a smile in an attempt to satisfy her. I looked back at the coffee in my hands.
"Wait, hey?" she demanded.
I looked up at the girl impatiently tapping her foot, and my hands started shaking. The scalding hot liquid splashed over the brim of the cup onto my skin. "Ow! Holy--"
"I'm Maya."
I forced a smile as I wiped off the counter with a towel. "Harper," I mumbled.
She cocked her head to the side, glaring intently at me. I straightened up, trying to hide any signs of anxiety she might identify.
"W-what are you doing?" I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Just lookin'."
My eyes were wide. I placed the drink on the counter. "Number six," I called. When I turned around, Maya's face was mere inches from mine. I jumped back.
"So what's your deal?" she asked.
What's my deal? I'm not the one in the face of someone I don't even know. "What? Nothing."
"No, I mean why are you so jumpy? Anxiety? Depression? Schizophrenia?"
I looked away. "Anxiety. Depression."
She raised her eyebrows. "Cool." I stepped back, eyes wide.
Cool?
"You must do well with guys, right? They like having someone to save. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so independent, am I right?" She elbowed me in the ribs.
"No," I whispered. "No you don't."
She shook her head. "I don't follow?"
I stared at the ground. "Depression isn't beautiful. Depression isn't flawless girls being sad because they don't look good. Depression isn't a few tears, grab a tissue, and it's over.
"It's my sister shattering our mirror in seventh grade because she threw a hairbrush at it. Because she hated the person staring back. It's hearing my Mama cry herself to sleep every night for seven years because her husband decided to leave. It's hearing someone telling you they love you and immediately thinking it must be a lie.
"Stop romanticizing depression. It's not beautiful, it's a battle. And it's one I have chosen to win."
YOU ARE READING
Free Fall. // l.r.h.
Fanfiction"We are all broken. That's how the light gets in." ~Ernest Hemingway
