Free Fall. // l.r.h.

Step 18: Begin Again

"So I guess my first day back at school wasn't a total failure." Luke chuckled. "Although all my teachers looked at me like I was going to beat them to the ground at any time."
I continued staring expressionlessly forward at the setting sun. Luke raised an eyebrow at me.
"Doesn't that hurt your eyes?"
"Mama came back," I whispered.
"Oh."
It was silent for a long moment until I turned to look at Luke. "Oh? That's it?"
"Well... Yeah, that's all I've got."
"Luke, what do I do? How do I know that this woman who just walked out on us won't do it again? Those kids, they don't stand a chance if she leaves again. Lindsey deserves to live a life without having to be their mother. I can't trust her." I looked down at the sun now hiding beneath my view. "But I can't not trust her."
"As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed," Luke said quietly, staring on ahead of me. "Vincent Van Gogh said that."
"What, do you just sit around reading books of Van Gogh quotes?"
He laughed softly. "Look, Harper, trust is not easy. Believe me, I know. But oh, it's worth it. And it's probably gonna suck, getting rid of all this pain and all this hurt and all this anger. But it's going to be beautiful. And working through that, learning from it, that's how our hearts are developed."
I smiled for the first time that day.
"Harper, I'm so sorry," he whispered. "And I'm not sure if I've ever actually said those words to you."
I shook my head. "Please don't apologize."
"No, you deserve to hear this. I loved you. And what? I just left? What gave me the right?"
He was getting worked up. "No, it's okay. Please, Luke."
"I'm sorry. I'm not leaving anymore. I'm staying this time. Right here. If you have to glue me to this rooftop, I'm staying put. So now we can begin again. From this time on. And I never left and you never fell apart. Just this moment into infinity. That's what matters."
I wiped away a single tear rolling down the side of my face.
"Hey, hey, look at me. Look right at me," Luke said. He lifted my chin so my eyes met his. "I'm not leaving. And you know what? Not everyone in this life is going to leave. I'm not. I'm staying right here. And Harper..." He blinked away tears gathering in his darkened beryl eyes. "When this fragile ground beneath you crumbles, I'm not just going to let you free fall. I promise that I will be there to catch you. And I will gather you up and collect all of your broken pieces and shattered memories. And I promise that I will hold you until all of those broken pieces slide right back into place."