Stark Bleiben | Stay Strong | Tony Stark's Daughter | Book 1

Long Ride

Warning: Just... Deadpool and his... his... "dark, twisted" humor, weird synonyms to the word "penis"... 

Little shorter than I usually have them but... Psych.

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"Seriously." Deadpool takes a deep breath. "You Avengers shoot first and ask questions later." He mumbles as the holes in his arms and torsos close slowly.

"Who are you?" Steve stands up, his shield at ready.

"Really no one knows who I am?" He groans back. "I'm on the news all the time." He whines again.

"Stand down." I command as I put the plane into autopilot. "He's a... well... he's... what are you?" I question as I stand up.

"Amazing... hot... sexy... badass... awesome in bed." He smirks under the mask.

"Stop before I punch you." I warn.

"I am merely a just a little Deadpool trying to make it in this lonely world." He opens his arms and sings the last part. "And trying to kill the son of a bitch who turned me into this."

"I can relate to last bit." Bucky mumbles looking down at his metal hand.

"At least you still have your good looks, my sexy soldier." Deadpool points at him. "The only thing I got working for me is my great sense of humor, confidence, my super sexy seductive voice-" He demonstrates the voice. "-and then some... If you get what I mean." He wiggles his eyebrows under his mask, making the place where they would be go up and down.

Steve sits back down and scrunches his face up in confusion while the rest of us groan in disgust.

"What..." Steve looks around at us. "What does he mean?"

"Nothing." Al shakes her head. "Nothing, Stev-"

"I mean my dick, Captain." Deadpool blatantly states while putting his hands on his hips. "My wang. Dong. Thing. Wee wee. Pee-pee. Love maker. The check for your deposit slot. The impregnator 69,000." He lists as Steve's face turns red. "The male genitalia... The penis, Steven." His jaw drops.

The quinjet goes silent.

"I'm just gonna go back to flying the jet..." I awkwardly mumble walking back to the seat.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" He hoots like a monkey. "Can you drop me off at a friends house? I got to get her a huge bag of weed."

"No!" I denie. "Just sit down and shut up."

"But mommmmmmmm!!!" He whines like a child. "I wanna see my friends." He stomps his foot while I sit down in the pilot's chair.

"I'm not your mom." I take a deep breath.

"But that doesn't mean I can't be your daddy." He whispers into my ear in his 'seductive' voice.

"This is going to be a long ride, is it not?" Pietro groans as he stands up, walking towards me and Deadpool.

"I can show you a long ride." Deadpool pipes up.

"It's going to be a very long ride." I breath.

Hour Later

"I'm booooooredddd!!" Deadpool whines as he lays upside down in one of the chairs. "Let's play a game." He spins upright. "I spy with my little eye something... red, black, and sexy."

Al rolls her eyes at him.

"Is it you?" She questions, not amused at all.

"No, I just imagined Ryan Reynolds in a hot black tux with a red bowtie." He gawks. "No wonder he's the sexiest man alive."

"That was awhile ago." I call back to him as Pietro still stands next to me. "David Beckham was the most recent one."

"I don't care." He sighs. "Ryan Reynolds is always the sexiest man alive in my heart."

"What heart?" I snort.

"The black one in my chest."

Half an Hour Later

"I'm still bored." I hear him whisper into my ear making me grip the quinjet's steering wheel tighter.

"I still don't care." I whisper back.

"UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" He groans walking back to the seat and taking off his Hello Kitty backpack, shuffling through it.

Deadpool sighs while throwing numerous different guns and pocket knives on the floor making the team tense up at how many weapons he has.

"Where is it?" He mumbles shoving his head in the bag along with his hands still searching in there. "Can you hold this for me?" He pops his head out of the bag and throwing a gun at Wanda to catch. "Thanks, sweetie." He goes back to digging in the bag.

"Found it!" Deadpool says excitedly.

"Found what?"

"My DS!" The eyes in his suit squint like he's smiling.

"What's a DS?" Steve and Bucky ask at the same time.

"Jesus Christ, you guys are old!"

Half an Hour Later

"What is your actual name." Tiffany finally talks.

"If I tell you that," Deadpool looks up from his game. "I'll have to kill you." His voice goes dark.

She gives him the death glare.

"Excuse me, it wasn't a question." Tiff says in a more stern voice.

"You and the brunette up there, so fiesty!" He responds in a playful tone. "I like it."

"Just tell me your name."

"Wade..." He jumps up. "Wade Wilson." He bows with his DS still in hand.

Everybody looks towards Sam.

"We're not related!" Sam defends once he realizes why we're looking at him.

"You never know, my fellow Wilson." Wade slides towards him in the chairs. "I might be a badass brotha under this suit."

"That's offending." Sam looks at him with no emotion."That's extremely offending."