i'm here | m.e.

8

adrabelle

Well before I leave, I have to check my outfit one more time. I look down at my outfit and think about it for a second.

I had my hair in two braids, a black bandage crop top, black knee ripped skinny jeans, my black and white converse high tops, and an olive green bomber jacket. I grab my phone and hurry down the stairs.

What if I'm late?

It's already bad enough that Matt hates me.

''You're doing the right thing,'' Alexis mumbles, leaning in for a hug. I slightly smile at her before leaving our apartment. I search for my car as I step onto the parking lot. I take a deep breath as I find my car, getting inside. I turn on the car and start driving to my destination.

I park my car next to a white mustang and get out of the car. I walk up to the big mansion and ring the doorbell.

''Belle!'' Mahogany squeals, bringing me into a hug.

''Hey,'' I smile. ''So now what.''

Her smile fades as I bring up the situation. I thought this was supposed to be a good situation. ''Matt.''

''Oh right!'' She pulls me inside the house, ''He's upstairs in his room, on the right.''

I nod my head slowly and start walking to the stairs. I stop as if these stairs were gonna break just like how Chris' did. I hold onto the rails and walk up the steps silently. As I reach the top and look to my right to see a long hallway. I walk quietly until I see a dark blue door. Matt's favorite color.

I freeze and stop before I knock on the door. I can do this, I know I can. What's stopping me from being so strong now? I'm always strong.

I shake my head, away from my thoughts and knock on the door.

''Coming,'' A muffled groan comes from inside the room.

The door slowly opens, revealing Matt. I smile, trying to act nice. ''Hi!''

''Um, hi?'' He says more as a question. I look down at his comfy outfit and look back up at his face. ''What are you doing here?''

''Well, today we were supposed to be catching up.'' I hold my breath, ''The day that I'm supposed to be talking to you.''

''There's nothing to talk about.'' He clenches his jaw, shutting the door. I stop him from shutting the door and walk inside his room. It's no different than the one he had in Florida. It's like nothing happened. I thought since he was a new person, he would have changed his style. Isn't that how changing works?

''Get out!'' Matt shouts. I turn around to face his presence. ''Remember, you're an unwelcome guest.''

''Matt just hear me ou-'' He cuts me off, ''I don't want to hear it.''

''Matthe-''

''You promised me!'' He shouts, walking up to me, ''And you broke that promise!"

''This was Alexis we are talking about and I couldn't let Chris get away with her,'' I say quickly.

''Do you understand how much time I wasted on you!'' Matt says, angrily. ''I was up for weeks with only a few hours of sleep. I didn't eat for days, I was dehydrated! The police canceled your missing case since you were missing for so God damn long! I couldn't find you anywhere!''

I give him a sad look, touching his face. ''Oh, baby.''

''Don't touch me!'' He slaps my arm. ''You left me when you said you wouldn't! We could've found Alexis together!''

I back up, scared out of my mind. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. ''I woke up with you gone. I was going crazy because you weren't even in the house, you forgot your phone! I went to New York to see if you were there to actually visit your mom's grave!''

Not having enough space, my back hit the hard wall. Matt grabs my wrist tightly and whispers, ''And the only way for me to ease the pain of you being missing was to have meaningless sex with many sluts,''

I start shaking at Matt's horrifying past. I whisper with my shaky voice, ''But we never broke up.''

A tear slips from my eye. Matt looks into my eyes, getting closer than ever. ''I drank my ass off until I couldn't see where the hell I was at. I got high off of many drugs that were handed to me randomly. I joined parties and overdosed on pills twenty-seven times, making me depressed. Nothing would work to fix. And nothing will work to fix me.'' He backs up and pulls me off the wall, pushing me back again.

''What do you think I went through!'' I scream, pushing Matt off of me. He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. ''I went through hell.''

''I was fooled many times by Chris. He tried to do many things to change my thoughts about you,'' I mention with my shaky voice. ''I held on for life and fought back because I love you Matt! I wanted you there with me. I wanted you to save me.''

I pull up my crop top, revealing my scars and gushed scrapes on my rib cage. ''You see this? This was when I jumped out of the two story house.''

''I couldn't take the pain! All I thought about was you.'' I sigh, pulling my crop top down. ''I left looking for you but I didn't know where I was at. Before I could find you, Alexis found me unconscious.'' His facial expression changes as I start crying harder then ever.

''At that moment, I knew I should've just listened to you because Alexis was already safe. She knew what she was doing.'' My breaths rapidly move faster as I fall to the ground.

''I was so alone and it reminded me of when Chris first took me away from you.'' I look up at Matt as a tear slips away, he wipes his face and looks down at me. ''Shouting at me and hating me is only gonna make it worse.''

I look down at the ground and just let my tears pour like a waterfall. ''I completely disobeyed you.'' My emotions start to burst out. ''I-I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking.''

I feel so weak. Why am I even doing this? Especially in front of the one who used to love me.

''Shh... Don't talk, it's okay. I'm here now.'' He brings me into his chest, calming me down. I grab a handful of his shirt and hug him tighter than ever. I need this. I wanted this.

I'm finally holding the one that I love for the first time in nine months.

...

more is coming :))))))))))))))))))))))

-shekinah xoxo