28 Days

Day 9

Short update. Ang hirap manakit dahil sa kilig kanina huhuhuhu. Pero eto na, whooo. Tell me your thoughts. Loveyou, guys!

PS. Convince me to get them back together, because to be honest, I made up a "trial" ending to this and they didn't make it. (I'm ready for the death threats!) But I'm reconsidering because you guys are amazing and I'm receiving too much love from you. Keep them coming para magbago pa isip ko! HAHAHAHAHA. *evil laugh*

-

Day 9

Faulkerson,

Hi. It's been three years since I stopped sending you letters, but I didn't stopped writing. Yes, I did stop writing for almost a year now because I wanted to really move on and put away things that reminds me of you. But meeting you again, after those fateful three years alone and longing for your love, I decided to write again. But I don't have the courage of sending these to you. Especially now that you already have someone special in your heart, no matter how much I wanted you to read my thoughts.

Last night was painful. Well, this past 8 days were hell but last night was the worst. I saw how mad you were, how you controlled your anger after hearing those words from me, straight from my mouth. I know I have no right to be hurt, I don't have the right to complain because I wanted this. I made you do this, to us. I wanted to take away the pain, hug you and wipe those tears.. But it wasn't my job anymore. All I can do was to walk away from you and wished your pain would go away. I didn't get to sleep for every time I'd close my eyes, all I can see is your face. All I can do is to cry and let my eyes pour all of its tears. I slept with my tear-stained pillow, and let myself rest for that night.

But I dreamt of you, your laughter filled the room and a smile that was dizzying. I was at the other side of the room watching you, and somehow felt contented for I know you were happy. That is the happiness I can't give to you, the happiness that isn't worrying when it will end, happiness from someone who is strong. Strong enough to hold on and not to let you go. But I know in time you'll understand me. I can be strong enough to tell you what had gone wrong that night, and why I had the need to let you go.

But I still want you to know that you're still the one I planned my life with, imagined myself at twenty-six, thirty-five, forty-two with children. I still think about you, wonder if you still that sickly RJ that I tuck on bed and sing lullabies to sleep, wonder if my Mainebow cake still tops your favorite dessert, wonder if in the back of your nightstand drawer, you have a picture of the two of us. And maybe.. Just maybe, you still wonder what we could have been... just how I always do.

Still yours forever,

Maine.