thoughts ≠ sx

a faint sound beneath the floorboards

it's really simple
to say
that you won't miss them
when they leave,
and that if they choose
a career or a dream over you
that it's their fault
and you'd ditch them
and the feelings
would evaporate,
but i wonder
what
would
happen
if your heart was tethered,
if it burned to see them cry,
if all you wanted to do
was toe over the threshold
and curl up in their arms,
tell them that they
can't leave,
but know they have to.

if their green eyes sparkled
with tears or relief, not sure,
while they told you
what was going on,
and rather than getting
angry, furious, envious-
you stood there with your heart
frozen solid,
thinking
i'm not good enough
they're better off
leave me alone
but please don't
and you swallow the burn
in your throat
and say okay,
because do they expect you to be alright, or do they want you
to scream

and they ask you to dance,
and you do-
because denying the
inevitability of the situation
is the only escape
from the crippling heartache
you know you'll face,
and you let them coddle you
in their arms
and kiss your forehead
and murmur apologies
you know they don't mean,
because
they
chose
it
over
you
and the anger is too far away,
already on a plane with them
packed in a suitcase
next to the wallet
stuffed with photographs
of your smiling face

because you love them too much,
that you have to give them away.

[]

opinions ??

"if i could fly.."
-sx