I found out that my ex is gay...if you know me or read my other bio. You'd know that I have a whole gay twin army. Also my bios on my other account XCaNtDrOwNmYdEmOnSx .
It's just.... I don't know... Different.... I mean I guess now I know why he didn't want to talk to me about why he was sad. Although I knew some of what was going on. He said he loved me. I'm But what kind? Sisterly...? If so... Why did he ask me out? Why did we date? I guess I don't blame you.
But I am fine. I am numb.
I was and always will be there for him. I don't understand why he won't tell me things. I don't understand why he says he's alone when he knows I'm here. Why he says no one cares. When he knows I do. That's why I balled my eyes out when I thought he was committing suicide and was begging him not to leave. Normally I'd keep everything bottled in. Maybe I should let everything out now.
I'm sorry I never made you happy. I'm sorry that you feel like you're alone when you're not. I'm sorry that you think no one cares when really. I care. I'm sorry that I failed.
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Ya. It's stupidly sappy. I know -.- shut up. But I didn't know he was gay. I knew he was bisexual. DONT MAKE FUN OF ME FOR IT. IM SERIOUS. DONT MAKE FUN OF IT. EVEN IF YOURE A CLOSE FRIEND OR SOMETHING. PLEASE.
I've told you a million times. I've tried and tried. Begged and pleaded. To not leave me. But you're slipping away. Death is coming. I'm trying to fight him off. I'm trying and trying. Begging you to see how much I love and loved you. But I guess you don't care anymore. You've erased me from everything. You lied and said that you loved me. I'm tired of falling. Tired of being rejected. And thrown out. But I'll keep this fucking smile on my face. Just to remember that the past made me smile. There's only a few people that make me happy anymore. I can't lose them. But I can't put pressure on them.
I'll beg and plead for your life. Beg to be the reason you'll live. But in the end. You're the one who killed me. Who pulled the trigger. Cut my wrists. Hung the noose from the tree.
But now I'm happy without you. (: I've learned that now. How stupid I was. I won't make that mistake again. Thank you though for teaching me a lesson.
