How Not To Fall In Love

Chapter 26: How I not Fall In Love 2

"Everything is beautiful in its own, perfect time."

Love isn't what I push away but the attractions that distract me to end up in a bad untimely relationship. Like I used to say, "Prevention is better than cure." Love is a good thing to have and to do, to the right person, at the right time, and at the right place. After Ashton and I had the talk we agreed to remain as friends, and that is not an understatement. I went with him in his party just as I promised. But it wasn't easy to kill the fire when it has consumed you already. Later on since we've been staying in one place the tension between us is inevitable. Ashton admitted he's been having a difficult time folding with his feelings for me. And I told him truthfully that his presence in one roof isn't helping me focus. It was a mutual agreement that he'll stay out but then along with our connection. 

We haven't been bitter, or was it only I, to each other. A week or so, after he left the apartment I let Vivian take the spare room. One day, after work when I came home I saw Vivian holding a medium-sized shoebox-like box. She handed it over to me and said that it was at our doorstep earlier that day. I unwrapped the box, and opened its lid. I almost cried at the gesture. The box was full of photos of me in small and big-enough details. The first thing that caught me was a photo during my graduation. I remembered that very day I first met him. It wasn't so cliché-ish. He wrote something on the back of the photo saying: "The first small details about you that caught my eye that I didn't realized it caught my heart as well." I scanned each and every photo. And there was the eye-contact contest we had at the coffee shop, we weren't really friends at that time.

It says: "They say the eyes are the reflection of your soul. And I find yours beautiful all the way out." I kept scanning and I smiled, remembering what happened exactly at those times. When we were in Tenerife and we dip each other with ice cream on our faces and he got mad when I took a picture of him. And his revenge was taking a picture of me in close up making a threatening look at him (though it was directed at the camera). "You still look cute when you're mad. Though I know you'll be mad if I say you're cute. XD", he wrote in legible handwriting. The last two photos broke my heart. It was when we were in Phuket. I remember we were standing together next in line to bungee jump and I was really freaking out. It was really that high and my nerves tingles every time I looked down. I think he asked Gabby or Zeed to take a picture of us before jumping. And the whole time I can't stop freaking out until he held my hand to make me feel at ease. Instead of smiling at the camera he was calming me down. He said, "I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of falling and no one will catch me." When the gears were buckled up around our bodies, we continued to held hands. But then I still felt uneasy so I hugged him tightly, and he did the same. "We jump together. And we fall together." He captioned. I looked thoroughly at the photo. Our eyes locked at each other and our hands as well. It was beautiful. We looked beautiful. Together. The last photo I think was taken from the apartment a week before we had the talk. 

We got bored and decided to watch the movie we don't want to watch. It was funny since he disliked most of the movies of I rented, I ended up sleeping on the couch because I liked the movies I rented. He said in his caption, more like a bit of a write up: "I love everything about you. And I love waking up the next day knowing that I will see you. I love your wittiness and adventurous spirit. You always move me, surprise me, and support me. All the more that I love you. I keep on falling in love with you Lily Rose."

~

After a year, I was still in Prada, there was a major turn of events. We had a big deal to close. Since G. & P. Co. supplies most of the materials used in Prada, they had a contract that G. & P. Co. will help increase Prada's market penetration and Prada will make the clothes for the wedding of the sole heir of the G. & P. Co. At the announcement of this I was alarmed. Good news, for two months tops I have no encounters with Ashton. Gabby and Abigail mentioned that they saw him and they interacted casually. Unfortunately, since I was promoted later that month to Miss Sanchez's position, I have to handle the deal. And I handled my emotions badly. I'll be honest that it stings my heart when I heard Ashton's getting married to the blonde girl, Trisha. So the worse case scenario was, a day before his wedding day me and the team prepared the dresses to the hotel reception of their wedding. And I met him. We greeted each other casually. I steal glances at him and I feel bad how my heart reacted that way. We haven't had the chance to talk more like how used-to-be-friends do. I want to congratulate him but he disappears and appears infrequently. Like he always do. The worst case was during the wedding day. I had to attend him in checking his suit and as well his groom's men. That was where I knocked myself up with the delusional bubbles in my head when. I congratulate him with all sincerity and gladness but I sounded like a squirrel that he asked me what I was saying and I embarrassed myself in front of him when I did not respond and just stare at him. And not on the clothes. When he cleared his throat I can't stop thinking still. I wanted to say something but my words were all lost so I just stood there. And when their wedding coordinator asked him, he just left.

~

"To the success of GALLZ and our life and our children's life in the future!" I said gleefully, sharing a toast. We, my co-owners in the business and my girlfriends who working for us, were in a big yacht Abigail bought on her first commission this year. We clink our champagne glasses and drank altogether. I excused myself from them to change. For four years we celebrated in our own little way the success we have in life, together. It feels great to be surrounded with people that have the same motivation and/or goal in life with yours. I walk to the cabin and changed on my neon pink bikini tops and white shorts. I heard a knock on my door and Vivian stepped in.

"Hey." She said. I tied a cream knitted sarong around my waist. 

"Hey." I said. 

"I'm being senti right now so can we do it outside? I'm privileged to have a wonderful and amazingly beautiful best friend in the world." She said giddily. "Oh how flattering. Thank you to my ever supportive and one of a kind best friend in the whole universe!" I shrieked, clinging my arm around her shoulders on our way out. "I still can't believe how we got this far." She said. "And we're still going for more." I say to her. I can say the same for Ashton who became successful after a year or two before ours. He has been a good person for me that I believed is meant for me to learn from him. I heard he had put up a studio under his company and opened a school for arts. Our love with our craft made us who we are now. Our passion for our craft made us love it even more. We live to create something remarkable and do everything, and anything in love.

"Slowly we fade in silence but our hearts beat so loud. I know clearly something about you makes me feel it's real, I feel. I don't want to move an inch but you were drifting apart. It's when I know I was kind of late to figure this out you have figured your way out too. I know now why. You're my color in black and white. My sunshine in a gloomy day, a man I truly say the man I may want to have. But such discovery and realization I don't want any further. All I know is that I know somewhere between our space, I find you near me." - Lily Rose

This is how I not fall in love.