Im In Love With The Bad Boy ❤

Chapter 7

Chapter 7-

I turned the water on as hot as it could go. Once I seen the water steaming I decided it was hot enough and stepped in. I winced at the pain I felt, as the water was burning my skin. I continued to think of Jake, and decided it was best to relieve this pain in the only way I knew possible. I grabbed the razor and started to jab the tip of the razor into my wrist. The pain I felt was excruciating as I slid the razor across my wrist. The blood started to flow till the small puddle of water on the shower floor was red. I continued to slice my wrist in rows till I felt better. When I was finished I was shocked by the marks that now covered my wrist. I was also shocked at the amount of blood that now filled the shower. I broke down. I was going back to my old ways! I didn't want to be this person again. I had always struggled with self-harm, I guess the feeling of not being wanted by Jake brought the old me back out. I sat I the shower crying for what I'm guessing was hours. By the time I stood up to get out, the water was freezing. I wrapped my towel around me and walked by downstairs. I laid the razor on my night stand. Cause as bad as I hate to admit it, I'll probably being using it later. I got dressed in my sweats and a hoodie and walked back upstairs to grab a bite to eat. I opened the cabinet and grabbed a little Debbie Cake.

"That's the last thing you need." Said my sister ,with the same disgusted look Jake had.

With that I threw down the cake and walked back downstairs. I'm sick of this! Everyone has something negative to say about me! I grabbed the razor and unknowingly started to carve the word fat into my sides and stomach. Once I had finished I was laying in a puddle of my own blood. Cause not only did I carve the word fat. I carved it everywhere! All over my stomach. Each letter was curving up into twisted swirls of jumbled up words. You could barely see my skin. I pushed my tank top back down, to cover my stomach. I tried to raise up and failed. Each move sent a jolting pain through my body. This isn't good. I should of thought about the consequences of doing that. I guess this will make for an even rougher couple of weeks.