Take Back

Chapter Nineteen

<One Week Later>

-Adam's POV-

 It has been one whole week since we blew up on Rose. One week without our best friend by our side and it is all my fault. I know I shouldn't have snapped at her like that but I couldn't take another 'I'm sorry' when no one really knows what happened on those days.

 As I walked through the hallway, with Tommy by my side I would see her walking towards us. But in one swift movement, she would turn the corner and disappear into the sea of students.

 Her and I have English and Science together and she would take a seat in the back of the room, rather than her usual seat next to me. Every time I would glance back at her, her head would be bowed and she wouldn't even acknowledge my presence.

 I could feel myself sinking back into my depression state again, why does this always happen? Every single time things start to get better, everything starts to fall apart and everyone seems to drift away. I mean my relationship with Tommy is getting better with each day that goes by, but I feel like my relationship with Rose fell apart and I don't know how to fix it. Tommy keeps encouraging me to talk to her, but I can't build up enough courage to talk to her.

 Even things in lunch were different. Now without Allison or Kris, our table only consisted of Tommy and I. Rose seemed to find a spot on the other side of the lunch room with some girls who were in my English, science, art and health classes. Once in a while I would catch her eye, but there was this look in them that made me want to hide in the corner and cry. I could see it in her face that she would never want to speak to me or even Tommy ever again.

 Tommy and I would walk home, hand in hand and it would be in complete silence because neither one of us wanted to talk about what went on that day. Then when we got to the house, we would go to my room and do the homework we had for that day.

 But today was different, Tommy walked into the guest bedroom and stood in my doorway, staring at him as he closed the door. It took all my will power not to go busting into that room, but I decided to give him his space.

 I entered my room and with a sigh, I dropped my bag on the floor and plopped down on my bed.

 "Adam." I heard my mom's soft voice and I lifted my head.

 "Yeah?" I asked as I sat up, my legs dangling off the edge of the bed.

 "Is everything okay?" She asked, I could see that she was worried about me slipping back into my depression.

 I made a smile stretch on my face, "Yeah everything is fine."Honestly, I didn't feel like eating at all, I had the dark thoughts returning again, I am up all night petrified that I would have another nightmare. 

I saw her hesitate, like she wasn't buying the lie that I said, but she nodded her head, "Okay, well dinner is going to be done in a little while."

 I nodded, "Okay, Tommy and I will be down in a few." I saw that she wanted to say something else, but she shook her head and gave me a smile before walking back down the stairs.

 With a groan, I dropped backwards onto the blankets. I gripped my hair as my mind started to taunt me, saying that I was the cause of Kris dying, Rose turning away from us, and for Tommy going into the other room. I brought my legs up to my chest and hid my face in my arms. My shoulders shook as the sobs took their devilish hold on me.

 My head started to hurt, as I yanked at my hair. I uncurled myself from my tiny ball and got to my feet. I paced back and forth, then I stopped when my eyes spotted the drawing I did for Kris. In a few strides, I was standing in front of the frame that held the artwork and in the reflection of the glass, I could see black streaks of my eyeliner that made it look like I was crying black tears.

 I balled my hand into a fist and swung, my fist collided with the glass and it shattered; causing the picture to fall to the floor with a loud crash. I could feel the blood start to flow from the tiny incisions from the glass.  

 I collapsed to my knees, the glass piercing my jeans and I could feel it sink into my skin but I didn't care. The pain seemed to numb the hurt and tame the dark, raging thoughts that blew around my head like a raging tornado.

I could hear someone's voice but it sounded like it was far away. I could feel him picking me up, cleaning me of the shards of glass that decorated my clothes and a few that were like piercings in my knuckles. I could feel, hear and see everything but I felt like it was just a blur in time. The pain, the hurt, the thoughts were blinding me from what was going on at this very moment.

His sweet, chocolate- brown eyes were staring into mine. His bloody hands gripped the sides of my face and his voice was muffled with the ringing in my ears. His hand brushed my hair from my face, and his eyes were pleading me to say something. But my brain couldn't signal my mouth to speak.

His arms snaked around mine, guiding me down on my soft blue and white comforter. My head was on his chest and his heartbeat was loud as my ear rested on the left side of his chest. His legs were wrapped around mine, holding me to him. His mouth spoke loving, soothing words that I could finally hear as the demons were tamed by his presence.

 "...You didn't do this, you didn't cause this. Adam you gave Kris the one thing that he ever wanted and that was your unconditional love and compassion. You were his best friend and you helped him through everything. You were not the cause of his death, hell, you were the only thing that kept him from dying sooner." He took a breath and ran his hands through my hair gently.

 "Adam, you have to see that you were his saving grace and you didn't give up on him. I know you can get dark sometimes, you let it go to far, but you have to learn to try and fight these demons." What he was saying was true, I do, but its hard.

 "I know it is hard now, but in time you will accomplish that task. You will have me to help you through it." Tears were streaming down my face, I wish that he could just push pass the things I did to him. I wish that he would just say the words that I would dream he would say.

"I know it gets hard sometimes but I could never leave your side again, no matter what I say. If I wanted to leave I would have left by now, Adam I wouldn't have came back to you. All along, I tried to convince myself that I was better off alone, but even for a whole day I didn't know which way to turn because I was lost without you. You keep my mind off the edge, now its time for me to save you from falling again; from going back and seeing everything twice. You are the only thing I would die without, Adam you know me better than I know myself."

 I lied there silently, wishing for him to say the words, wishing that he would forgive me. His lips kissed my forehead and I squeezed my eyes shut. After a few silent moments, his voice sounded again.

 "Adam..." He took a deep breath and in that one second, my heart stopped, but then he continued, "Adam, I have been doing a lot of thinking and I am willing to forgive you for all the shit you put me through."

 "You don't have to go through this alone, not again. Adam, will you be mine again?" I opened my eyes, lifted my head and stared into his watery eyes.

 I couldn't bring myself to answer with words, so I decided to show him. I leaned in, slowly, but in surprise he seemed to close the gap between our faces and his lips pressed against mine.

 I kissed him with everything I had. Before we pulled away and my head was spinning. He pressed his forehead against mine and I saw his eyes shimmering with happiness and just pure love.

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Hey everyone, so this book is going to be coming to an end soon. I had a blast writing this series and thank you all for taking time out of your busy lives to actually read this.

More chapters coming soon.

Love you all,

~Wolfy