Trigger warnings. Read at your own risk.
Sorry for how bad this is.
It has been exactly a year since Scott left me.
I was walking through the apartment, singing softly to myself.
I heard Scott come in the door, and stopped my song. He hated when I sang. Said it hurts his head.
I went to my room, staying out of the blonde's way.
Our relationship hadnt been the best at the end, but I had still loved him. I had loved him so very much, it hurt.
"Mitch!" Scott called out.
My heary raced. I went to find him.
He was in the kitchen, Wyatt playing with his shoelaces.
"Hey, Scottney. Whats up?" I asked.
He smiled, pulling me into a hug.
I pulled back, searching his face for an explaination.
Its not like i had ever been rude or cold to him. If anything, i was the only person who was nice to him at times.
Still, i always blamed myself for what happened.
He handed me a soy latte. "Thought you might want one. Sorry that i havent given you one for a while."
I was touched. "Thanks, Scott." My heart warmed at his touch. He had barely talked to me for the last two months.
But i loved him so much, i sucked it up. Just being around him was heaven for me.
Ever since i walked out that door that night. I still cry, wondering how i hadnt realized how he felt.
The thing with goodbyes is that you never know how long theyll be for.
"Hey... do you want to come to Candice's party?" I asked.
He shook his head. "No, i cant. I have an appointment tonight. Sorry, Mitchy."
I hid the dissapointment that came to my face.
"No, its fine. I figured you were busy anyways. I need to leave. Bye, Scott. Love you." I said, walking out the door.
"I love you so much, Mitchy. Goodbye." He said, just as i closed the door.
I know that im just being this emotional because of the one-year mark of his absense. But its been the hardest year of my life.
When i got to the party, Candice came over to me.
"Mitch... wheres Scott?" She asked.
"He said he had an appointment." I said.
"Oh okay. Come get a drink!" She called out, and i followed her neon hair through the crowd.
I got talking and dancing, and hours passed.
"Mitch... i have a feeling that you should go home. I think that youve had two too many." Someone said.
I agreed with them, and called an Uber.
Timing is everything. I feel like its my time now. I lost the love of my life by mere MINUTES.
The Uber ride seemed to take forever. There had been an accident somewhere, and traffic was at a standstill.
When i finally got home, i realised that the door was unlocked. I kicked myself for forgetting something as simple as turning a key.
The next thing that i noticed was Wyatt's crying. I had never heard my Sphynx cat make much noise at all. This constant meowing was slightly unnerving.
But my drunk brain didnt really think about either of those. It didnt register that the bathroom door was open, with the light on.
Im so sorry for the pain that ive caused everyone. It was unintentional, i swear. But sometimes pain demands to be felt.
"SCOTT!" I screamed.
I grabbed my phone.
"911, whats your emergency?" A calm, level voice answered.
"M-my boyfriend... i j-just got h-home and i found him passed out in the b-bathroom!" I wailed.
"Sir, i need you to calm down. Do you see any medications astray? Does he have a history of sudden unconsiousness?" The lady asked.
"No! Please... please hurry..."
I know that if anyone was here, they would be trying to talk me out of it. Thats why im leaving a note. Scott had people to live for besides me. I only had him.
They brought Scott to the hospital. They found extremely potent chemicals in his body. He was in a self induced coma.
"Mr. Grassi? We have means to believe that this was a suicide attempt." The nurse told me.
My love never woke up. I feel like i still havent woken up.
Im so sorry.
I need him.
-Mitch Grassi-Hoying
