Blue Butterflies {BxB}

Going Home

I woke up when Connor did. He wiggled out of the small bed and went to the bathroom. While he was gone, a nurse, different from the one last night, came in.

"Mr. Conaway?" He asked. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm good." I replied.

The nurse walked over to my monitor, I had no clue what he was doing, but he wrote something down. "No pain anywhere?"

"A small bit in my ribs, but it's manageable."

"Are you sure? It's no trouble to get you something for the pain."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay. The doctor will come in in about 15-20 minutes to have a look at everything."

"Okay." I said. The nurse walked out of the room and Connor come out of the bathroom.

"Is everything okay?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, he was just saying that the doctor would come in soon." Connor nodded, but he looked distressed. "Is something wrong?"

"No... I'm sorry this happened."

"Why? You stood up for yourself."

"But I didn't mean for you to get injured. You're in pain and I hate seeing you like this."

I could tell he was truly upset about this. "I'd rather it be me who's the injured one."

"Don't say that. I could have done something."

"You did." I said. "You stood up for us. People get hurt and they heal. It's normal. Be thankful that we can heal from this."

Connor leaned over, being careful not to touch my ribs or head, and kissed me. "I promise that if this ever happens again, I will do something."

"It's fine. We're okay."

I heard two light knocks on the door and a guy in a white lab coat walked in and came around to the side of my bed. "Mr. Conaway. I'm Dr. Bennett." He reached over and shook mine and Connor's hands. "I've looked over your x-rays and your chart. Good news is that everything will heal with no problems."

"And the bad news?" I asked.

"You'll be in some pain. I'll send you home with some medication for that." He smiled. "I'm going to have you sit up. I'll look at your stitches and than I'll have you take off your gown so that I can look at your ribs. We can have your friend here step out if it'll make you more comfortable."

I thought about it for a second and decided it was time to fess up. "He's my boyfriend. And it's fine."

"Okay then." Connor helped me sit up "Are you in very much pain?"

"No. It's manageable."

"Great." Dr. Bennet shifted his position and carefully took off the gauze that was wrapped around my head. "Yes, it'll heal nicely. It will scar, but your hair will cover it up when it grows back. I'm going to undo your gown now."

I hesitated, looking towards Connor, knowing he'd finally see what I've been hiding. Connor's expression remained unchanged.

The doctor untied the gown. It slipped off of my shoulder and into my lap. I looked down and saw that I had a lot of bruising on my ribs and scars on my hips. "If you keep them wrapped tightly they should heal in no time and you'll need to keep these cuts clean."

"Of course." I said, disappointed in myself.

"Okay. I'm going to discharge you. I would like for you to come back in a week. I'll take a look at your ribs and hopefully we can remove your stitches. A nurse will be in soon to complete everything." He left and a nurse had Connor sign the release forms and I went home.

Connor drove us straight to the apartment in silence. We didn't talk until we were parked and started to get out. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked him.

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

"Can we talk?" Connor slammed the car door and headed for the elevator. "You haven't spoken a word since we left the hospital."

"I've just had a lot on my mind." He hit the button on the elevator, keeping his back turned to me.

"Connor." I said, getting his attention. "Connor, talk to me."

"Why?" He snapped. "Maybe I'll wait two weeks like you did." I was taken aback. Connor hadn't snapped at me this why before.

"Connor." I said. "I-I..." I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what Connor expected me to say.

"Please, James. I went home while you were in the hospital after they cut off your shirt in the ambulance. I saw what you've been doing to yourself when you were sick and last night confirmed my fears. I found your pills, completely full. I found the razors hidden underneath the sink." Silence. "You haven't been taking your medicine, James."

"I-I'm sorry. I-"

"Don't make excuses with me. I tried to let it go. I was going to make sure that I gave you your meds everyday and to make sure that I protected you, but... I can't be the only one wanting you to get better. You need to want to get better yourself."

"I do!" I shouted. "I do want it!"

"Show me! Show me that you want to get better because I'm not seeing it."

I opened my mouth to say something, but shut it again when I realized I didn't have anything to say. Instead, I turned around and walked away.

"James!" Connor called. "Jamie!" But I didn't listen. I walked as fast as I could. I walked for a while with no real destination in mind. Connor called me a few times, but I didn't bother to pick up.