friends? || lapidot

Chapter 1: Memories

Peridots P.O.V

Screaming was all I could hear...
"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" was all I could hear over and over again on repeat. A tall Jasper hovered above me with a smirk plastered on her face. Her blonde hair flowed in the wind perfectly, my surroundings grew intense, I could feel a nauseous sensation inside me, growing. Sweat beaded against my forehead, my throat as dry as the Himalayas. Jasper turned towards me and smiled, smiled because she knew I was over, she had won, I was broken.

"Well, I guess you aren't what you say you are, Yellow Diamond would be disappointed in somebody like you, a fool, a weakling, a runt..".
Her words hurt more than what a blade could do to your skin, more than punch to the face or kick in the gut. My eyes burned with tears of pain, emptiness, loneliness, fear, hurt. The words repeated again and again in a echo, all around me their chant grew louder "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!".

My vision grew blurry as tears made their way down my cheeks. Laughter all around, points and stares, grins and teeth on everyone's faces, cameras aimed directly at me, I was the spot light, I was the laughing matter, and it was all because of her. "Aww is Peridot a little crybaby, I guess you could say she truly does live up to her true form! I mean look at her, she's small like a baby, has temper tantrums like a baby, is as dumb as a baby, and now even more evidence, cries like a baby!"

A wide grin grew all over her face, evil in each tooth. The crowd was amused with Jaspers comments on my weakness and baby like characteristics and it made me wonder why, why was I still here, why was I laying on the cement of the school grounds letting her treat me like this? Oh right, because I'm weak, I can't beat somebody up like her, she's twice my size and has twice the power, she knows how to fight, I know how to run like a coward.

In a flash everything began to fade to black until I opened my eyes to the haze of my ceiling fan. I sprang forward panting in a cold sweat realizing it was all a dream, or a nightmare I suppose. I looked around for a moment taking in my surroundings, pinching myself once or twice to make sure I wasn't in another dream. It was real, it was all so real, my emotions in my dream, the realistic touch to how real the scenario was, it was all...

A memory, a flashback..
I remember it now, all so clearly, it makes sense.
This nightmare was a memory being replayed in my head of the most traumatizing, embarrassing moment of my life. I remember it, the school year was around the middle of 8th grade and lunch had just ended. I don't recall why I was outside or how I got myself into the trouble of messing with Jasper but all I remember was the tears, how emotionally unstable I felt the night it happened...

I glance down at my wrist to find my permanent evidence of that very night. White streaks in horizontal lines repeated down my forearm in different lengths. It hurts to think about that night, I lay back down and turn to my side to find my anti-depressants in reach. Don't do it Peridot, don't do it. Hesitatingly reaching for the small container of my happiness, I push the thought out of my head. Not tonight, not today, maybe later...

I turn my body to the other side facing towards the wall. I remember tomorrow I have a project to work on in math with Lapis Lazuli, my only true friend I can trust. I haven't known her for very long but it doesn't matter how long I've known her because all that matters is our bond. Flashbacks of her face show up in my thoughts and for a moment I feel happy without those stupid pills. A smile spreads across my face at the thought of her. I sigh

If only she knew...