friends? || lapidot

Chapter 24: Days

Lapis's P.O.V

Forty six? Or was it forty seven, five maybe six weeks? Probably six, I think that'd be more than enough time to get away from someone like me. No wait I got! Forty seven *sigh* it's been forty seven days since me and Peridot have begun our "break". I've been counting all this time, waiting, hopelessly waiting for that text, that text that would read "We're still together". Doubt and hope have been playing tug-o-war in my mind nowadays, the day's slip by and it gets harder and harder to avoid Peridot in the school halls. Worst of all I had to work on that stupid project with her, everything has become a living hell. I don't know how much longer she needs to decide until she tells me already, I don't know how much more stress I can handle. Every waking moment she's on my mind, not a day goes by that I don't think about her, I never really realized how much I loved her until she left. But that's how most people learn their lessons, we never realize how much we love something until it's been taken away from us. Why did she have to go? But then I remember the mistake I made, this was my fault, this was all my fault, and this was what I deserved, maybe even worse.

I always wonder what she's doing every moment I'm not around to see her, I'm constantly checking data online, to see if I can find any updates on what she's doing. I've become a heart ache stalker, I've become a mess, nothing but a mess, I was a monster. Worse than Malachite, no. Nothing can be worse than Malachite, she was.. everything gone wrong.

"Now Ms.Lazuli would you like to answer the equation on the board?". Crap. My day dreaming wasn't strong enough, I'm still stuck in this prison, still here with these people who couldn't care less about my well-being but cares about how quickly I can answer a stupid math equation that I'll never use in my lifetime, however long that is. Peridot was still here, still stuck sat next to me, part of me was glad because it meant I wouldn't have to worry about her talking behind my back if she'd ever stoop that low, but she wouldn't, she wouldn't ever. Peridot is everything and more, she is graceful, smart, cute, loyal, and she'll just, listen to you. She likes to spend the perfect night cuddled up next to you watching her favorite series; "Camp Pining Hearts" and will never say no to a swim in a good lake. She'll do anything to make you happy and is the best at making you laugh, even if the joke isn't funny or original. She for some odd reason loves the idea of green alien shorts and calls it her "aesthetic" whatever that means-

"Ms.Lazuli it'd be nice if you could answer please!" Mrs. Diamond demand, god I hated her so much, she really knows how to get on your nerves. She had a tall strong build, mainly because she was a strong gem, and she had the meanest look, why did I have to get her? Why couldn't I have gotten Blue Diamond, I hear she's nicer, or at least better than this bossy lady. "Uh-um, could you repeat the question?" I spoke.

Laughter, of course, that was typical, I expected it of course, I mean this was HighSchool which meant meaner people all around you, it wasn't the life. I felt everyone's faces turn towards me with that look "are you stupid?". It made me mad. Even Peridot was looking at me for the first time in what felt like centuries, but she didn't laugh at me, she wasn't giving me the look, she was just simply staring at me, more like I was a helpless dog and I didn't know how to feel about that. "The question is; what is the change in y over the change in x in this equation?" She points to a graph on the board. A graph, of course a graph, the one thing I suck at in math was graphs. Well might as well get this over with, it's now or never, I inhaled deeply.

"I don't know the answer." was all I said, every looked around at each other like they had just heard me say that, they thought they were insane that they heard me say that, that they had to look over at each other to be reassured they weren't the only ones that had heard that. I didn't understand why it was a big surprise I mean big whoop I don't know how to graph things and find points on a graph oh wow oh my god! Seriously, get your priorities straight people. "Well Ms.Lazuli clearly you should maybe pay more attention in class hmm" and she turned away, a few giggles and then it was back to normal. The rest of the day I didn't talk much.

After a long day at school I was exhausted to go home and just rest, I was tired of this routine, it's exhausting, everything is exhausting. The first thing I did was check my phone, no notifications, normal.
I slumped my backpack onto the floor and felt myself grow fatigue, I walked into my living room before I flopped onto the couch and felt everything go dark.

Sleep.

I woke up just before sunset, it reminded me of watching the sunrise with Peridot, how she had longingly dreamed of having someone to watch it with, and look at me now, watching the sun set alone. I wonder if she can see it clearly from the barn as I see it here? Does she even watch sun sets?