Self image

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So, this is something I've been struggling with basically my whole life, but a LOT lately.
Most of what is recommended to help with this stuff just straight up doesn't work for me. Things like positive affirmations and all that? UGH just kill me.
So instead of trying out that stuff, I've been doing this instead:
basically saying to myself, "Okay assume that you're right – what's next?"
Like, assume my physical appearance really is as terrible as my brain tells me it is. Assume I am basically some kind of hideous monster. Let's pretend for a second that it's true – what's next?
As a hideous person, I can still travel the world. I can still paint beautiful things. I can still bake cakes for friends on their birthdays. I can still foster animals and grow a beautiful little garden in my backyard and read poetry and watch movies that make me laugh until I cry. I can still enjoy so many awesome things the world has to offer and I can still add even more awesomeness to the world by creating art and food and memories – even if my physical appearance is my own personal worst case scenario.
This way of thinking about it helps me get "unstuck" from my own negative thinking. Where I'm at right now, my body image and self image is really bad and I can't just snap my fingers and change that, but I can decide to look at it as kind of a hurdle I'm going to jump over when it comes up so I can keep moving.
It's like I'm going around and around this mental track and those hurdles keep popping up, but I'm doing my best not to let them trip me. I'm saying, "So what?" and moving on. And each time I do, I free up my brain and my time and my energy to do something positive. Just last week I visited the care center where my grandpa is and attended a meeting to help those who need to be happy and look forward to seeing someone make them feel good about themselves is of my favorite! I think that has meaning and brings me joy, and I think stuff like that is stuff you can do whether you feel like a golden goddess or a swamp monster.
If you have similar issues with body image and self image, I recommend giving it a try. It doesn't make the problem go away, but it sure beats spending every moment obsessing over it. It's gonna get better I promise babe

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