At the end of the day all we have is memories

Letting go

I used to believe in the saying "if you love someone, let them go" I mean why would you do that? If you love someone, you better hold onto it and never, ever let go. But i learned that you can't hold on to someone for so long, sometimes you have to let them go not because you want to but because that's the least thing you can do to set yourself from pain and heartache. I don't want to, i know i can't but i have to. I have to let go of the person who has already let go of me. It's not easy, can you imagine that, starting today you have to live your life without that person who gave you so much to remember and everywhere you go, you can see him in every corners. My heart is telling me to keep on holding on, it's still longing for you even though you were the reason why i'm broken, but my mind is telling me to loosen the grip and let you go.
I can see the happiness in your eyes. They used to shine so bright because of so much love when we're still together. I miss the sound of your voice, but i know i won't hear it again. Every time i close my eyes, you're all i can see, the way you talk, the way you smile, the way you stick your hands on your pockets when you're bored, how your face turns as red as blood when you're upset, you can see it boiling beneath your skin. I will forever miss those memories of you and i know those things won't happen again. This is not easy, you know? I feel like my heart wants to explode because of too much pain. You are worth the fight but i think i already lost the battle long time ago because you surrendered everything and i have no choice but to surrender. I'm holding on for so long, i guess it's my turn to let go, right? I already did my part and no, i'm not asking you to stop me not because that's so impossible, but because this is the right thing to do. I am taking a step forward but i still glance at the clock and it's 11:11 i want to take a step backward. Every time i look up at the stars
at night i still wish that it's going to be me and you in the end. Every time they ask me what i would love to have and to keep for the rest of my life, it will always be you. But I know i have to forget all those things. I have to continue living my life without you. Don't you worry, i'll try not to think of you as i wake up every morning and before i'll close my eyes at night. I'll try not to remember you every time i'll go at our favorite spot. I'll try not to miss you every time i'm listening to your favorite song. I'll try not to cry whenever i feel the love i have for you. Don't you worry about me. I'm strong, i can do this on my own. I'm not doing this for you to realize my worth, i'm doing this for me to understand and acknowledge my own self worth.
This is not a goodbye, this is letting go. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. I will forever miss you. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. Thank you for making me realize my worth. I know one day our paths will cross and i hope when that day comes, i'm no longer in love with you. Good luck for a new beginning, for a new chapter of our lives. You are the best thing that happened to me. I love you always but for now, i'm letting you go