At the end of the day all we have is memories

The heartache that wont stop hurting

We've all had those heartbreaks that we thought would ruin us...

But until you feel yourself become weak, lost and be forced to endure a pain that is so much greater than all of the bones in one's body breaking at once... then it's not true heartbreak.

We hold onto things we think we need because we're scared to lose it/them. I've been told for months... years now, "the day you let go will be the day you will feel better."  So why don't I?

I feel as if the universe came crashing down, as if all the weight of the world is on my chest, just waiting for me to give up.

I let go... I didn't want to, because letting go of him means I'd lose my best friend, my biggest supporter, with him I never needed anxiety or depression medication... he was all that and more.
Being with him was a high you could never get from any chemical drug or plant. Being with him was like living in your own Nicholas Sparks novel, it was like living in your own fairy tale. Though things weren't perfect, but I still hoped it was us with the perfect ending. 

He had given me a forever in a matter of days. To love someone "to infinity and beyond" who has become a memory, just means your infinity wasn't as long as others... I always thought there was something romantic about fighting for someone and trying to win them back...but there's not.

There's no prize at the end, there's no welcome sign waiting for you. There's just disappointment. It leaves you with this feeling of not being enough. It leaves you thinking you've failed.

But the absolute worst is when you fight for so long, and every now and then you're given hope, just as you're ready to let go, you receive a text, a Facebook message or a Snapchat... you start thinking you're winning.

It's just false hope.

In all actuality, it's a form or torture that they just love to force upon you. They know how much it's going to kill you when you realize you lost, that nothing was real.

Although pain demands to be felt, one day it will become bearable. You'll find someone who, even if it's for a second, will make the pain go away...and then one day it will just be gone.

But always keep the memory of that pain in the back of your head, because the day you find yourself happy, the cause of that pain may just pop back up again.

You just can't let him win. Because having him in your life is cancerous. He will slowly but surely drain you, and eventually, kill what happiness you had left.