I Fell In Love with A Stranger

9

I walked in my front door and threw my keys down on the kitchen table. I couldn't take this. Mom and dad were asleep by this time, so I walked quietly upstairs to my room, and cried myself to sleep. My more than best friend, my light of my life, was dead. I didn't think I could ever forgive myself. I should've took the bullet instead of Adam. I wondered what Alesa would do. The story was all over the news at this point. I called Alesa, to see how she was handling this. "Jin." She said, "I was about to call you. Are you ok? I knew you were with him." I answered quickly. "I'm fine." I said, "Physically at least." Alesa started to cry into the phone. "Why, Jin?" she cried, "This is so hard. So unfair!" I heard her scream. I knew this was harder on her than it was on me. Alesa continued speaking. "What is my child going to do without a father?" I began to choke up "Alesa, Mason will have a father. Just because Adam isn't with you, doesn't mean he doesn't want to be here still." Alesa cried harder, and hung up. I was worried about her. I pulled up my blankets, and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I tossed and turned all night. I got out of bed the next morning. Having gotten no sleep at all, I was very tired. I was also exhausted from crying all night. I called Ross to pick me up and take me to the offices, which Adam's dad now ran. He asked why, and I told him my car had been completely destroyed. When we got to the offices, I tried to record a little bit, but I couldn't.  I got out the large box I had originally brought into the offices when I first started out. I started packing everything away without hesitation. Tim came in. "Jin, what are you doing?" He asked."I'm leaving, Tim." I replied. "This is just too much without Adam." Tim turned around, a look of disappointment in his eyes, and walked out the door. He had told everyone in the offices what I was doing. Everyone was sad to see me go, but I could not bear the pain that was now left in me. I felt so empty without Adam here. The pain of losing someone this special was absolutely unbearable.  I couldn't bring Adam back. I blamed myself for what had happened. If I had taken the bullet for him, he'd still be here. He'd be able to still live the life he should have lived. But he was gone, and here I was, alone and confused. I knew I had support here, but even still, I felt no one really, truly understood. Adam was my miracle in life, and now that I'd lost that one person who always knew what I needed...who had been there for me everyday....who had stood by my side through thick and thin.....I was alone.  I had known this was coming, but it was harder than I'd ever dreamed. I loaded all the equipment into the box and walked the 10-15 minutes back to my house. I went upstairs and sat down the box. I decided to check twitter because I hadn't done so in so long. So many people were pouring out their support, and I felt a little bit better. But I knew now that I'd left the offices, it would just hurt to go back. And so, I decided I'd be solo from now on. I reached in my box and got out all the equipment to set up in my room. At the bottom of the box was a picture of everyone at the offices, including Adam. I propped the picture up on my desk, and smiled a little bit. I knew I would be ok.