Chapter Fifteen

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* polaroid pictures of wedding couples appeared on the page *


red [ chapter fifteen ]


we're all just gray, a heart that has no life. gray , that makes us weak and we need RED to function, need love to feel alive. we wanted to be stronger and love can help us. but love could also be purple. it also could be the one that pain us most. who make us feel alive but felt broken.


no one wants to live in a broken life. so that's why i want to stay as gray. wedding bells, wedding rings, wedding song this was the day. i was wearing a tuxedo looking at the mirror, seeing my stressed face tired silvery blue eyes.


i was thinking so many things i just can't speak anymore. i know i have to go there and wait for you to show, walk in the aisle and hold my arms while we look at the priest and say 'I do' but what 'i do' is for?


was it, I do will love you because i have no choice at all? I do will love you because there's no point of running away? or was it I do , I do , I do will show you the world she was aching to see. but if that's I do is for, then what's the world you wants to see? was it me? but i'm just gray. nothingness. colorless


finally i am ready to go, but i'm truly not but i can't do anything else. my best man zayn smiling at me and giving me a goodluck face. i nod , and i , and everyone wait for the bride to come out the big door.

 

i stand there nervously, trying not to run, trying to stay calm. i can do this, this is just easy , this won't kill me. even if i feel guilty of marrying someone who love me but i don't. as i stand there, the door opened revealing a girl who i adored.


sky blue gown , your brown eyes and your red lips. she's perfect, but i am not. you deserve better than me, you should love someone else who would love you the same as you do. someone who is brave, someone who can fight for you. someone who will stay. i am nobody.


walking, it feels like the time stopped. your staring right into my eyes like as if you had read my mind. you didn't smile, and i didn't too. your red lips stayed perfectly lined, you eyes emotionless. your so beautiful.


while you're was walking, i saw something. i saw you. i saw that you love me, i saw that you will take any steps just to get closer to me. while here i am stepping back from you. why can't i just love you? i want to love you.


and when you reached for me linked arms together look ahead to the priest. i didn't hear anything anymore, " will you, Louis Tomlinson will take Audrey Emerald as your wife? " he asked and i gulp. no more escaping, because this is my escape.


" i do " i said and i felt you held tighter to me. " will you Audrey Emerald will take Louis Tomlinson as your husband? " maybe i was always busy about my feelings. i am selfish, that i forget how you feel about yourself.


you're also feel afraid right now that you'll make a wrong choice " i do " you whispered, but you're still brave. brave that it can make a gray colorful, something isn't purple, something far away from purple.


" now you may kiss the bride " i collide my colorless lips to your red ones, and i felt after all my life, i felt alive. your not dead my wife, your just too blinded by so much colors your life had.


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