Merthur minis-one shots

Maybe-M

Merlin POV

Maybe it was the way he acted.
Or how your first acquaintance was you moving to a new town, and getting sassy with him, and him being an arrogant prat.
Maybe it was the thrill of you mocking him, when he told you he was the prince, and how the first friend you made was because he put you in the stocks.
It could have been, that no matter how much he tells you you're worthless, that he still comes after you.
Even possibly that no matter how much you give up for him, no matter how much of you you devote to him, he doesn't see you as you see him.
He is your universe.
And you're just his servant.
It could be when rage claws at you, when everything you love is ripped from your grasp, and you still carry on after him, as though your scars don't exist.
Maybe it's when you realise that he's finally leaving you, when he knows your darkest secrets, and he is in your arms just like you always wanted.
But it's not until he says it.
After all this time.
That "Just hold me," or the "Thank you" perhaps.
And you think to yourself, "It's so much more" because both of you know it is.
Hope rises in your chest, but his hand slides from your grasp, and you're breaking again.
"Stay with me" you mutter, and for a second his eyes open, renewing your will to live, before abruptly shutting again.
Maybe it was the way you loved him.
Maybe it was when he loved you back.