Starting Over

Chapter 2

BROOKE'S POINT OF VIEW

A faint knock at my bedroom door pulled me away from aimlessly staring at the blank tv screen, my eyes scanned over to the door before returning them back to the tv again.

As always I really wasn't in the mood to talk or see anyone, pretty much the same mood I've been in for the past month and a half.

"Brooke sweetie, it's me, can I come in?" my mothers soft, soothing voice asked through the wooden door, immediately I snapped my eyes shut and pretended I was asleep- incredibly childish I know but it's the only way she'll leave me alone.

I heard the bedroom door open before quietly shutting, followed by the shuffling off feet coming closer. The bed sank down beside me as she brushed my hair out of her face.

"oh baby, I know you're not sleeping, I'm your mother stop hiding" she sighed quietly.

"I just want to be alone mum" I muttered rolling over so my back was facing her.

"Brooke, that's all you want to do it's not healthy, you haven't been out of the house since you came back, apart from work, it's bad. Go out, see Shannon or Tasha, it'll do you good I promise" she practically begged.

"I don't want to go out or do anything mum" I trembled already feeling tears piercing the back of my eyes, surely I should be out of tears with the amount I've been crying recently, but nope, I still cry, every day.

"you'll feel better when you see them, it'll take your mind off things" she soothed.

"do you really think it's going to make it better? They'll ask me how i feel which remind me of everything, I just want to be alone" I snapped a few years sliding down my face.

My mum merely shook her head before standing up and walking out of the room, closing the door on her way out. I appreciate her help and support I honestly do, it's nice to know somebody does care about me but right now I dot want to go anywhere, face anything all I want to do is be on my own until I feel like I'm strong enough to deal with the situation.

I don't know how to deal with the situation or even whether to believe it was true or not. It still hadn't seemed to sink into me, the fact that me and Justin were no longer together even though I was the one who ended things between us. I still can't believe that I did that, considering that Justin is my everything... Was my everything, I knew I would never be the same without him and well... That's showing with my behaviour. I do nothing everyday apart from wake up for work, go, come home, get into bed and sleep, I have no energy and I simply don't want to be around anyone.

I hate the fact that me and Justin are no longer together and I do have that small ounce of hope within that's screaming at me not to believe it, to run back to Justin and fix it, act like nothing happened. But I can't and I won't, I can't trust him purely because be did cheat on me and that's the reality, I need to face that and get over it and him I just wish it wasn't going to take so long.

I feel useless without him, empty and incomplete but from how Charlie described things Justin is doing perfectly fine without me, proves just how much he truly did care and 'love' me.

Flashback

I was anxiously waiting in my room for Charlie to return wig the rest of my stuff from Justin's house, I couldn't face going there myself, I couldn't see him not after everything he's done. I wont be able to deal with the heartbreak over again, so I did the childish thing and I sent my older brother tithe rescue and thankfully he was more then happy to take my place in collecting my stuff from his house.