Ice Cream In Malibu

11

Colorado. 

7 hours, and 57 minutes.

Broken up of course. We'll make it to our hotel tonight at 12, because we didn't wake up until 9. So Ezra and I were running around our hotel, double checking everything to make sure we didn't leave anything. 

We've stopped for breakfast at McDonalds, and Ezra is sitting across from me, doing a crossword puzzle, and eating a sausage burrito.

I'm eating an Egg white delight. And watch him as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"Where is Friends?" Ezra asks as he turns the page so I can see as well as him.

I look through it finding the F's, and finding where they attach to the R's. My eyes start to water from the strain right after I wake up, and I use my free hand, and trace my pointer down the lines of letter, where it stops.

Ezra looks closer and nods.

"Thank you, I was going crazy not being able to find it." I smile and shake my head.

"Do you have much left?" I ask, and he counts the words.

"No, I have 2 more left. Do you wanna help?" He asks, and I put the last bite of my sandwich in my mouth nodding and chewing.

He laughs at my full mouth and I grin, my cheeks bulging out comically.

I chew and swallow quickly, and gesture with my hand so he turns the book for me to see.

"Thank you." I say as he turns it around, eating his own breakfast at a speedy pace. I hope he doesn't make himself sick. 

I find the words Freedom and Love in a minute or so.

Such cliche crossword words.

I close the book and hand it back to Ezra.

"Thank you." He says, the tension between us has not left and it makes me sick, all the awkward energy around us.

We used to be so normal with each other, and now; we can't even be near each other with out both of us clamming up. It's exhausting, having to tip-toe everywhere and most of the time we're not 2 feet apart.

Driving in a car should be a blast! I say inwardly and me and Ezra slide out of our booth, making our way to the exit.

When we get to the car we both get in silently, we haven't said anything lately and I just want  to have a real conversation with my best friend.

My head hurts, and there's a throbbing between my eyes which tells me that I'm holding in tears.

Why are you going to cry?

I ask myself, I hate myself for acting like this, obviously if I was big enough to make the bad decision in the first place,I'm bug enough to deal with the aftermath.

We've been listening to the same CD for the past 2 days and the same song comes on, and I skip it until the last one we were listening to comes on.

Sorry, by Justin Bieber. 

I skip one song and White Teeth Teens, by Lorde plays.

I turn up the volume and I look out the window, of the passing scenery. It's pretty I guess, but I've misplaced my rose filtered lenses somewhere between here and our last stop.

My heart clenches, and I try and breath through it.

Don't cry Ally. Do not cry!

I mentally yell at myself.