What is Stronger Than Love? (Shizuo Heiwajima X reader)

(Chapter 12) This One is for the Broken Hearted

NOTE: (y/ln)=your last name
            (y/fn)=your first name
            (y/ec)=your eye color
            (y/hc)=your hair color
            (y/hl)=your hair length
            (y/w)=your weight
            (y/fc)=your favorite color
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--- time skip ---

---Shizuo's point of view---

Shizuo had pushed (y/fn) away.

For some reason the passing of time didn't spare his guilty conscious any. Sake didn't kill the pain anymore. Nothing could save him from the feelings he felt.

It was wrong of him to do what he had done. His actions against the (y/hc) haired girl pulled at the few pieces of his heart that still existed.

He was haunted by her. Images of the model covered all of Ikebukuro, and each time he saw her he stopped and stared. Her name was dropped in casual conversation all the time, and each time his ears pinged at the name of the angel.

Sometimes at night or when left alone with his sorrows, Shizuo would see her. He'd see those large puppy eyes, (y/ec) puddles begging him for mercy. He could see the trembling of your body as he roared at you. It seemed like every second of his nightmares were relived. He was tormented by words he had snarled at you.

"Shizuo I love you!"

...

"STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

How could he do that? How could he push away the person he loved.

You couldn't understand it and Shizuo was sure that you never would; it was better this way, or at least so he convinced himself, and he himself, could barely grasp the meaning behind his actions.

However despite all of his mixed emotions and internal feats...

Shizuo Heiwajima knew one thing:

He loved (y/fn) enough to let her go.

"It was for the best," he'd remind himself after another sleepless night.

"She can't love you," he'd tell the monster in the mirror as it ran rugged hands through its blonde hair.

"You're not good enough for her. You never are and you never will be," he'd whimper while staring at yet another empty bottle of sake.

Everyone around him noticed the change in him.

Tom was nearly killed after mentioning the girl the day after the incident while at work.

"Shizuo why didn't you ever go see her," the now all knowing tom had questioned, "why did you do that to (y/fn)-"

In the blink of an eye the boss was hurled into the air by his coworker.

"DONT YOU EVER SAY THAT NAME AGAIN!"

Shizuo was a roaring monster once again. He was angry, furious, even raging. However he felt none of these emotions toward anyone but himself.

If he wasn't nearly killing the person he loved; he was breaking her heart.

In honesty, both things hurt just as much.

Shinra noted that Shizuo smoked and drank more. He was developing dark circles around his eyes.

"Shizuo are you eating properly?"

"I haven't eaten in three days," the distraught blonde had mumbled.

Celty noticed that Shizuo fought less.

"Are the gangs leaving you alone," she typed on her PDA.

However he said nothing and stared blankly at her.

"How about Izaya," she attempts to provoke him.

However the headless rider received no response.

Only smoke was puffed into her face as a now broken man passed her by.

Simon had not seen his strongest visitor since the day he arrived meeting (y/fn) for the last time.

Ikebukuro's strongest man did not have Ikebukuro's strongest heart.

--- (y/fn) point of view ---

It was easy to say that (y/fn) suffered as much, if not, more than Shizuo did.

When Kyo had parked the lamb outside of the hotel the girl burst into tears.

Torrents streamed down her face as rivers were carved into her cheeks.

All she could do was choke on her words as the verbal abuse Shizuo had delivered to her before bruised her conscious.

However some how Kyo managed to sooty the broken girl.

Kyo Kasamatsu would pick up the broken pieces Shizuo shattered; and although it would take months, maybe years, to heal the girl, Kyo determinedly stood beside you.

He soothed you with whispers of sweet nothings. His words would ease your mind as his body would warm your covers.

It became a regular thing for the Jpop star to find his way into your bed. Honestly it was better than sleeping alone.

He'd fall asleep holding you as you'd weep silently in the night.

Why did you keep finding yourself in another man's arms when you craved Shizuo's?

Your ribs were bruised for a while after the gang members attack; however, it was a minimal injury compared to your emotional scars.

(y/fn) often found herself staring at her reflection in the mirror.

"You're not good enough," thought the model.

She'd look deep into the sorrowful eyes of the girl in the mirror and disapprove of what she saw.

She was an idiot. A worthless idiot. A distraught girl. An unworthy lover. A fool. A dumb bitch. She was nothing.

She was easy for finding her way to Kyo. She knew deep down that there was no room in her broken heart for him. The ruins belonged to their conquer...

and she would forever be, Shizuo Heiwajima's.

However she'd wake up with one man while craving another. She'd cling to one man while imagining another. She'd smile brightly and thank him for all of the amazing things he's done to fix her. Yet he had fixed nothing. She may have been even more broken than before.

You found yourself crying in the bathroom. Crying whenever you were alone. Tears would come at the strangest times.

Your heart would pang in your chest as emotion brought you to your knees... And suddenly you'd be sunken on the bathroom floor clutching yourself and bawling your eyes out.

"Why am I so pathetic? Why do I love someone who doesn't love me back? Why me," playing the victim just became more and more common.

You weren't the strong willed and quick witted sweetheart Ikebukuro came to know and love.

You were merely a victim of Shizuo's wrath, a victim love.

... And little did anyone know, that every night the two of you would fall asleep, thinking of one another...

Shizuo was broken.

(y/fn) was broken.

--- to be continued ---

AUTHORS NOTE:
Sorry for the quick update I didn't want to continue to make this one long cuz I feel like that's way too much emotion for one chapter. So I'm trying to break it up. Also I'm getting more creative with the story so plans are being shifted around currently. I fell behind on this book and I plan to catch it up before updating more. I do promise that at some point there will be a lemon. If anyone crys during this I'm sorry!!! You are not dumb or anything you are a lovely girl and deserve the best, Shizuo is just a noob.

Suggestions and comments of all kinds are welcomed!
As always thank you so much for reading I never expected to get even one vote on this book so thank you to all!