Forced To Be With Him 24/7

Chapter 46

I stare blankly at Jace. He just declared his love for me and I feel nothing. I remember when Harry said those words for the first time and... how my heart beat out of my chest, how the world had a purpose suddenly. Thats not what I'm feeling now. Thats what I should feel. Not numbness, not sorry for the person on the other end.

"Jace.. I'm sorry." I get off his chest. This is getting out of hand..

"Could my timing be any worse? Don't be sorry. Your plate is full-" he starts to ramble and panic in embarrassment. He is too sweet to say anything else. Dear god help me.

"You are a lovely person. Offering me such favors. Italy and the money is too much Jace. I care for you and I think we would have had a chance if..." I put my hand on his cheek and smile at him. I don't want to break his heart, he was a person I could rely on.

He was there for me when I needed it. When Harry went to Barbados he was my drinking buddy and when I was upset about Harry's old friends he was there to calm me. Now, my heart got broken and he is still here to reassure me, give me money to close the debts and take me to his home to cheer me up. I want to be here for him but I love someone else and thats not something I can change.

"If you didn't love somebody else..." His face falls and I can't do anything to help. He is a really nice person, I don't want him to be hurt.

"I mean in the end I guess we have more in common than we thought. We both love people who keep running away." He says and I stare at him with a broken smile. He is right. I am pushing away a very capable person of making me happy. I'm pushing simplicity and a drama-less, happy life away with the back of my hand right now. But where is happiness without Harry?

I get up. I need to go. I need to find a shower and stay in it for the rest of the day. I need to not handle this right now. I can't take any of this today. I have reached my max on heartbreak and sorrow today.

"You are lovely and someday you will find a girl that makes you happy." I say as Jace follows me to the door. I'm tipsy, heartbroken and very confused.

I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I don't know how to handle the news about Harry with someone else. It hurts so much I don't even want to think about it. That is what I was doing all day. Stalling myself with Jace to not think of Harry with that girl. Who is she? Where did they meet? Did he kiss her like he kissed me? Held her close to his body and kissed and looked at her like he adored her? Did he moan her name while he pleasured her and slept next to her, a hand draping over her body?

"You made me happy today. You make me happy Jace and I think you are very lovely." I say as I hug him. He holds me tight. I need to keep my mind off Harry and the events of this morning. My body might stop working from the excessive pain.

"Stay." He murmurs. I can't. I need to stay away. I feel the tears lurking in my eyes. The images of Harry with someone else haunts me every time I close my eyes.

"I need to go. Thank you on Italy and the checks." I say as I land a kiss on his cheek. He seems to be needing it.

"I'll see you around. Thank you for being here Jace." I say as I open the door.

"Anytime." He whispers as I close the door behind me and start to walk towards the nearest subway station or if I'm lucky a cliff maybe.

**

I find a bar on the way and I get drunk. I get drunk because I need to.

I get drunk because my arm is broken, my only friend only cares about me when I call her, my other friend is in love with me and the love of my life is sleeping with someone else.