Forced To Be With Him 24/7

Chapter 47

I stare at Harry. My stomach stirs, the unexplained worry in my soul ignites. He stares at me with wide eyes.

"I made too many mistakes I know but I did what I thought was best for us. I'm sorry that I lied but I always chose you. It was always you. I chose you every single morning over everything else. I dropped my ego when I came to Barbados and got on my knees in front of Anne Cox. I turned a blind eye to the fact that you were a superstar and I was a broke orphan college girl. I always chose you but in a big bump on the road like this, you didn't choose me  Harry. I still wear the ring." I say and hold my hand up. He takes a deep breathe and stares at his empty ring finger.

None of us are yelling anymore, we are both tired and drained.

"I always and always chose you like we promised to each other." I whisper. I can't seem to able to cry anymore. Harry gathers his arms in front of his chest and takes a deep breathe.

"Do you choose me?" I ask with a broken voice.  He looks up at me, not a word coming out of his lips.

I wait for a tiny bit more, he says nothing.

"Its alright, I understand," I smile sadly,

"No one would want chaos in their life. No one would choose a cold stormy night over a warm sunny morning. No one would want a person who is hard to love with too many wounds in between, who speaks less and writes more"

"So I wouldn't choose me too, if I were you"

I try my very best to keep a straight voice but as soon as I finish, sobs take over my chest, betraying my words.

He looks up at me, eyes bloodshot, glossy.

I put my hand over my mouth to stop the cries as I run out of there. I can't stand it. I can't survive looking at him any longer. I love him but he doesn't love me as much as I do.

There are too many actions that need to be forgiven between us and he chooses to fly rather than fight.

I run to the door, small sobs shaking my chest, I look back. He is still by the couch. I close my eyes and get out, the part where my hearts supposed to be is a gaping hole, making the pain I felt before feel like a bee sting. This is the worst feeling in the entire universe.  This can kill you.

I wait for Harry in the hallway a little longer. I keep waiting for him to come and get me, stop me. He doesn't so I run out, a hand over my mouth and my cast around my chest, tears wetting my hand and the pavement as I run across the street, soulless.

He doesn't want me anymore. My mistakes overcame the love he had for me. He didn't choose me. HE let me go. Dear lord, he let me go.

I don't go home. I am drunk, too sad. I walk. I walk until the bottom of my feet start to hurt. Nothing is close to the wound in my heart. Nothing hurts as much as rejection feels like.

I run and run and run until I don't know where I am and the air around me is enough for me to breathe. I am lost. I am bewildered, flustered and lost. Having nowhere to go, no one to call home. The love of my life doesn't love me back, not anymore.

"What are you doing Harry?" I ask as I smash a pillow onto his head, giggling in the bed.

"Trying to take a picture. Not quiet sure how to hold this Polaroid."  He says as he turns it upside down and I fix it so its the right side up.

"Why? Its three in the morning." I say as he points the camera at me over my bare shoulder.

"You look so beautiful. Bare faced and freshly fucked." He says and snaps a pic just when I start to laugh.