Wake up already this is reality

Chapter thirteen

Bullying, man, this is the second time this has happened. Rumors, threats, and twisted words. Middle school, the place it happens most. Sometimes people don't know they are hurting others, but oh, some people know. Like how about we base it off what happened today.

I wore red lipstick, people gave me weird looks,they commented on it, not all the comments were good, some rude, some nice, but I held back emotions, but one of my teachers pointed it out, it was in chorus and I tried to hide the fact that it hurt my feelings badly, and thankfully no one noticed my hurting.

Now skip two periods to gym. I walked all the way to the gym not really saying much to others, I mean, I told a girl I liked her shirt, but when I got into the gym, one person commented on it. Then I went to the bathroom to go change(that time of the month)and before I went to go change my pad a girl named, Addison, who is already being mean to Charlie commented on my lipstick color, now I could tell a lot of people noticed, gratefully non of my teacher said much about it, other then in chorus where the teacher asked if I was wearing lipstick or got into a mess with a marker... Now I went to the bathroom and was fixing my lipstick a bit and Addison walked in to also use the bathroom and she told me that the class went outside, and I thanked her and went outside. 

Now we were outside, playing softball with the seventh grade girls, we were having fun, nothing to bad, then it was our turn to bat, I went to the back of the line because I don't like to bat, and there was two of my guy friends and a few other people in my class that I was okay with, and after a few heated words both sides cursing at each other, well more of them and I cursing at each other, one of the guys said something about vaginas but the more 'curse' words version and I being the already aggravated me said that "I get more then he does", to which Addison called me a lesbian, the boy went to go tell the rest of the boys and I was standing their emotionally vulnerable, Addison insulted my lip coloring choice. The rest of them were still telling each other and I could of thought, I just lost all my friends. My reputation will suffer from this event, from me being told on, to just plan gossip around the school, and with me getting in told on well make my mom be disappointed, and if I am told on, I will almost certainly get IIS, or expelled for a few days, but I don't care to much, so if I don't write chapters for a few days then you know why. 

I feel really dumb for crying, I just hate it, hate, hate, and even more hate! I really just wanted to cry and die at the same time, but thankfully, a student named Jax, he is a nice kid, sometimes can't keep his mouth shut, and a bit big for a sixth grader, but nice enough to try to comfort me when I told him I am use to being verbally insulted, and when a student told me to suck it up Jax screamed back for them to stop giving me such a hard time. I really hope I can become better friends with him. If only people knew what others go though.

I mean, I try not to be rude, but that can be hard when people are already being rude to you. I really just want to die alone, but I am not going to let this event pester me, that's what they want to happen, but it can be hard when you are being insulted, god, now I know how it feels to be insulted with a sexuality, but that wasn't what I was on the bridge of tears from, I was in the bridge of tears because I was having to watch and hear people talking about me, and I kind of wish I was behind my back and not as I was staring straight at them. I mean how low can you get? Ugh, I feel like a huge jerk for having to complain about this, but I can quite talk about this to my friends or family without being asked if I need help, I mean? How bad can this get, I am a sixth grader, I don't want to have to explain this to my Christian mother and have my mom either explain it to my dad or make me do it, and I can already see how disappointed they'll be in their little girl being bullied and trying to stand up for herself only to be the one being punished. Ugh, I can feel the lump in my throat get bigger and bigger, it just sucks, I want it to go away. I am not going to weep about this predicament all day, I am going to move on with my life, which apparently some kids don't know how to do.

OH and screaming at a girl who looks like she's crying to suck it up is not the most motivational thing in the world you can do.

Really though. When you think about it, I told them to drop it so many times and they kept talking about it and that helped, and the fact that I was holding back the dam, the dam of tears.

I do hope that this kid of thing that me and also a lot of other people go though won't be tolerated again, I'll be the bigger person when I see or hear people talking about others or insulting them to either tell them to stop or to tell some adult. Only with telling an adult you'll have to provide evidence about what happened, and even if their are holes in your story they are more willing to pick the one with more people agreeing on it so 1v2 will make sure the two wins, but sometimes, the one can win too.

Yet no matter how many signs we put up that say Stop Bullying kids won't stop being kids, bullying won't end for a long time, but that doesn't mean we have to stop trying to make it to where we don't promote the words Stop Bullying and telling stories such as this, and many more, and how it expresses what emotions can be felt, what fear, what anxiety comes with the ever lasting fear of what you said will and can be used ageist you. No matter how hard we try, bullying will last for many years to come, or maybe not, how should I know? I'm just a sixth grader.