Sensational

7

~Nina~

I stole some string from workshops we did at the mental institution. That's all I really needed. It was strong enough to hold me, since I was so small and skinny. I really wanted to go through with it again.

I tied the string to the light on the ceiling of my room. I couldn't do it in the closet because there was no place to tie the string up to. I stood on the flimsy chair and tied the string in a loop. My heart started beating extremely fast and I had no idea why.

I started crying, sticking my head through the loop of the thick string.

"This is finally it." I said to myself. I looked around the room one last time, just to take in my surroundings. I saw Kale standing in the doorway with his mouth wide open. Seeing him, knowing if I didn't go ahead and die, I'll be in here much longer. So I kicked the chair away.

I felt the string burn a line into my neck as the weight of my body pulled it harder up against my skin. I heard Kale screaming but I honestly didn't care. I wanted to die.

...

I opened my eyes to a bright white room. I squinted, trying to regain full vision from waking up. With the white floor tiles and the light blue walls, I had no idea where I was at. I tried getting up, but something held down my arm from going anywhere. I went to turn my neck to see what was on my arm, but then I realized I couldn't move it. I couldn't look what was on my arm and I couldn't feel or see what was on my neck. I started panicking.

I went to scream but my airway seemed so weak. I didn't know what was going on so I laid back down on the bed. I tried thinking of where I last was but it didn't exactly click.

"Nina! You're awake!" A male walked in the room wearing blue scrubs. Ah, a hospital. That's when I heard the heart monitor beeping and the television going. I watched as the doctor came to me and checked up on everything.

"How are you, sweetie?" He asked, looking at me. I probably looked like a mess from crying and I didn't know what was on my neck. All I could get out was a light hum, it was hard to talk and something was helping me breathe. I went to reach up to grab it but my arms wouldn't move.

"Oh, we're sorry.. I had to strap you down a bit so you wouldn't hurt anything else while I was away." The doctor said, undoing everything. This felt so weird, I've never been to a hospital where they tied people down.

"So, Nina, sweetie. Do you remember anything that happened?" The doctor asked. I lightly shook my head. He looked down at a sheet of paper and read aloud. "Okay, so you were registered to Broughton Hospital in Morganton, North Carolina for Suicidal tendencies and self-inflicted harm. You were doing really good, it says. Then you were found by Kale Thompson, an employee there. He reported he watched it happen but didn't have time to prevent it."

A small tear rolled down my cheek. Everything was coming back. I couldn't handle this.

The doctor sat down on the bed. "Be thankful he saved you quickly. Things could have been much worse if he saved you before you died."

The doctor looked at a clipboard. "So, Nina, darling. I'm sure you're wondering your injuries. Let's see. All that was reported was cervical spine fracture and a partial lower airway obstruction. It just means you broke your neck and damaged your airway a little. It's all treatable. Your voice should come back soon, maybe tomorrow at the earliest."

I looked at him. That's all I could do. I had nothing else. No family or friends to help me, no voice to talk. Hell, I needed a machine to even help me breathe. I should've just died. Life will be hell like this, I hope it's not forever.

The doctor told me to page him if I needed him and he left. I was all alone in this unsettling hospital room. Just the beeps of the heart monitor, myself, and I. I tried watching television but the heart monitor was so deafening. I glared at it, wishing I could cut it off. I don't need it, I'm okay. At least I wanted to be.

- imma_mess_ok -

I've been sick so I wrote this chapter but with going to school and dealing with shit, it's hard to update :(