Memories

Chapter Four

After endless relieved thanks from her parents and a long conversation, Jean's parents agreed to let her go to Professor Xavier's school if she wished, and she said she'd love to go. They packed her up and left the same day, the parents giving their daughter tearful hugs and made her promise to call them. Her older sister cried only slightly, hugging her little sister Jean tightly.

When they'd finally left, they let her get settled in. Charles could feel her anxious excitement as they neared their home.

Once they got home, Charles went to pour himself a drink. Rescuing the girl had brought back memories of when he and Erik had been recruiting for their team- memories Charles wished would stay buried. As Charles sat in his study, nursing his drink, Alex walked in, fidgeting with his nails. Charles could sense his anxiety, but he stayed out of Alex's thoughts. Charles wanted Alex to tell him- unless he was trying to broadcast his thoughts to the Professor.

"Uh, Professor... I wanted to ask you... If you could look for my brother with Cerebro? We were separated when we were young, and I was adopted out. They wouldn't let us stay together. His name is Scott," Alex said, rushing his words out as if Charles would not agree if he didn't say it quick enough- like Alex would lose his nerve if he didn't say it fast enough.

"Of course I will, Alex. You're family is my family, and I don't leave any family behind," Charles said, alleviating Alex's fears with the hidden promise in Charles's statement. Charles ignored the pang in his chest at the thought of the family he was forced to leave behind on that cursed beach. If Alex had noticed the Professor's pained look or his own memory of some of those family members, he ignored it.

"Thank you so much, Charles," Alex exclaimed excitedly, making the man laugh at his student's reaction. He acted as if Charles wouldn't reunite Alex with his brother. Charles might have had a terrible relationship with his own stepbrother, but he would never prevent someone from seeing their own brother. Charles quickly pushed down the memories. Charles lost more family than any of the others even knew.

The memories of the family he lost persisted as Alex left the study, blissfully unaware of Charles's own prevailing memories of his childhood. His father, a scientist who was loving and caring, dying from an explosion- an accident- in his lab. His mother becoming cold and distant. Charles finding Raven raiding his kitchen and befriending her at the age of twelve.

Then, memories of his mother telling him she was getting married, and the man and his son showing up at the house the next day. Mrs. Xavier's new husband, Mr. Marko, liking Charles more than his own son, Cain. Mr. Marko beating Cain- Charles hearing it every night. Cain's explosive reaction. Ripped clothes, the cold floor, and an inconceivable loss.

Charles pushed the memories away, locking them deep within his mind. He couldn't think of it now- or ever. Charles hoped one day that the memories would ebb, forgotten. More memories crashed upon the shores of Charles's mind, torturing him with the feelings he wished to forget.

"Charles, if the mission does not go as you've planned, will you desert me?" Erik was hesitant as they stared up at the ceiling in the dark of the night, Erik's fingers running through Charles's locks. Charles was confused at the question- after a month of the two being lovers, Erik was still worried of Charles leaving him?

"Of course not, Erik. You are my family. I care for you," Charles said, wishing he could tell him how he truly felt. Charles was too afraid of scaring the metal-bender off, though, so he left the three words unsaid.

Erik let out a relieved sigh, his lips pressing against Charles's forehead with affection. Charles's brow furrowed, and he frowned. Erik truly had such little faith in Charles that he believed Charles would leave him because of a failed mission?

Charles felt Erik's insecurities then, and Charles understood. Erik only knew of loving someone and the person leaving him; his father had been killed in the Holocaust, and his mother had been killed by Shaw. Until he met Charles, he hadn't felt affection for anyone since his mother's death. He didn't know how to love someone, and he certainly wasn't used to keeping someone.

"I'll never leave you, Erik," Charles vowed, kissing Erik hard on the lips so Erik knew that he was still there and that he wasn't going away. They made love that night, Erik needing that comfort so he knew in his heart that Charles was still with him.

Charles had kept his promise. He hadn't left Erik after Erik had changed the mission. Erik had been the one that had left after paralyzing Charles, not even realizing the repercussions for deflecting that bullet into Charles's spine.

Charles threw his glass at the wall, alcohol splattering on the wall as the glass shattered on impact. Charles couldn't get himself to care- except for the loss of the alcohol. He wished he had drank that before throwing it.