Memories

Chapter Twenty-One

"Charles, please... Talk to us," Hank said softly, sitting across from Charles in his office. Logan was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed across his chest. Alex and Darwin were sitting on a love-seat, their legs brushing from the close proximity. Sean was in the room as well, his leg bouncing anxiously as he sat in his own seat nearby.

Charles sat by the window, staring out at the backyard. The children were running and playing in the backyard, having a grand old time as Scott, Ororo, and Jean watched from the back porch. They didn't even seem to be thinking of the murderer that was somewhere in the house; they were just having fun.

"What should I say? I let the father of the twins into the house, who's murdered two people that I know of. I still care for the man who has murdered two people," Charles replied, depression clouding his mind. What kind of horrible person was Charles to love that sort of man?

"Chuck, we can't help who we fall in love with," Logan stated, a soft, rough quality to his voice. Charles responded, "No, but I didn't stop him. I couldn't help him." His agony was revealed in his tone, but Charles didn't care. Self-loathing was second nature to Charles now.

"He made his decision. You can't change his mind, or what he's done," Alex replied gently but firmly, not allowing for there to be room for argument from the Professor. Darwin was silent, just sending Charles an understanding look. Sean was uncomfortable but concerned, worried about the man who'd taught him so much.

As Charles watched the children outside, he saw Erik step out and into the sun. The children stopped running around; Ororo tensed up, and Scott stood as if he was ready to fight. Kitty, Pietro, and Wanda ran and hid behind Bobby, and Erik watched them all. Charles could see the wheels turning in Erik's mind, a well-oiled machine constantly turning and churning. Charles tensed up as he watched his ex-lover walk out onto the lawn, closer to the children, and sit in the grass.

Charles watched Erik's mouth move, forming words that Charles could not decipher. The children seemed to calm, the twins coming out from behind Bobby. Scott seemed angry, but he still sat down beside Jean. Jean just sat there, staring at Magneto with Ororo and Scott. Marie and Bobby shied away from him, but Kitty and the twins seemed less afraid.

Charles reached out with his mind to the little three, Erik's head still covered in that offensive, shiny metal object. Erik was speaking to them in a soothing voice, apologizing for his actions and promising ice cream if they forgave him. He was bribing Charles's children into liking him. Charles wanted to laugh- it was almost adorable. Erik actually sounded like a good father.

Kitty instantly decided to forgive him, deciding that anyone who had access to ice cream and was willing to share must be a good person. The twins were reluctant at first, but when Erik offered to get them their favorite- which he didn't know yet- the twins instantly agreed to forgive him.

Kitty bounced over to Erik's side and hugged him as much as her chubby, short arms would allow. Erik seemed uncomfortable for a moment, but hugged the little girl back nonetheless. Pietro and Wanda slowly moved forward, and Erik smiled at them as Kitty moved over and plopped in his lap.

Erik held out his arms to the twins, and they slowly made their way into his arms. He hugged them tightly, emotions obviously warring inside him. Charles wondered how Wanda and Pietro had come to be, but immediately pushed the scenarios away as jealousy reared its ugly head. Erik had been everything Charles wanted for so long, and their relationship had soured when Erik's mind had made humans out to be monsters. These children are proof of Erik's flighty, uncommitted behavior.

Erik had never committed to anyone it seemed.

Charles's heart tightened as he watched Erik treat the three with unusual tenderness. The other children seemed to relax, but Scott still stared with hatred.

"Boys, do you know why I will never be able to let go of the good man Erik was?" Charles questioned his disciples, changing the topic of their discussion slightly. "Nope," Sean replied, and Charles could feel their agreement with Banshee. Charles beckoned them over, his eyes never leaving Erik, who was now playing patty-cake with the children.

They came over to the window, and confusion swirled within their minds. "I see flashes of tenderness, soft emotions, love. He isn't so far gone that he's lost these wonderful qualities. He's still good inside; he's just misguided." A smile hinted at Charles's lips.

The boys watched with rapt attention as Erik laughed at something the children said to him. They'd never seen him so...loose and carefree. He'd only ever come close to that sort of behavior with Charles, and even then he'd never been able to laugh that unheeded. Erik had always been tightly wound, a little ball of pain and depression that had threatened to pull Charles under.

In the wake of Erik, Charles had been left a shell of a man with no reason to live. The only thing that had given him a new purpose- given him back a reason to live- was the mutant race. They needed Charles, and Charles could not refuse the call of Cerebro. Charles's boys had pulled him out of his pit of despair and brought him back to the land of the living.

Now, as Charles watched Erik with the three youngest mutants in the mansion, Charles could feel the tides of depression threatening to pull him down under the crashing waves, to pull him down into their murky, inky, dark depths where the sunlight never reached.

The sunlight was a dream at the bottom of the ocean of sadness- a glimpse of Heaven in the pits of Hell.