Memories

Chapter Twenty-Three

"The kids have taken quite a shine to him," Alex told Charles grudgingly, both watching from the window looking over the backyard as Erik chased the laughing and screaming children around. The kids included Bobby, Marie, the twins, Kitty, and Mystique.

Marie and Raven ran together, Raven pulling Marie along until they split up, Erik chasing Raven instead of Marie. Rogue and Mystique had become quite fond of each other, Raven taking the shy girl under her wing. Raven and Angel both had soon realized that the five youngest were the only members of Charles's family who would fully accept them- except for Charles; even then, Charles was still a bit hesitant to trust them.

"He's a natural father. He's become a sort of father figure to them," Charles replied, a small smile on his face as he watched. Charles could sense the jealousy, distrust, and anger rising within Alex. Alex was worried about being replaced.

"Alex, despite how they view Erik, you'll always be the big brother to them. They love you, even if they love Erik, too," Charles reassured Alex, who sighed in response.

There was a moment of silence, then Alex turned his thoughts to a new topic. "Professor, you never talk about your childhood. What was yours like?" Charles almost flinched at the unpleasant memories that assailed his mind, but instead pushed them down again, suppressing every horrible feeling that accompanied them.

The pain, the hatred, the rage, the loneliness, the disgust...

"I suppose mine was average. My father died when I was young, and my mother became distant. I found Raven when I was twelve, and my mother allowed her to stay. Then my mother married my father's coworker. He had a son, and they moved in. My mother turned to alcohol when her new husband proved unkind, and my stepbrother proved to be cruel. Raven avoided him as much as possible, but I couldn't avoid him. My mother died of alcoholism, and then it only got worse. My stepfather then died, leaving the three of us alone. I inherited my fortune, and I had my stepbrother move out due to Raven's fear, but I paid for an apartment for him. I went to university, Raven followed me to university to be a waitress, and I met Moira and Erik. That's when I met you kids, and I started the team," Charles answered.

Alex watched Charles for a moment; he saw how Charles's jaw tightened and his fist clenched when he mentioned his stepfather and stepbrother. It was typical for people to hate their step-family, but there was pain and shame in Charles's eyes, too. Alex wondered just how cruel the two had been to Charles and his family, but he held his tongue.

"Professor, what do you think Erik wants?" Alex asked, watching the children and Erik again. "To know his children." Charles rolled himself away from the window, and Alex followed a moment later, still mulling over the telepath's words about his family.

"Professor, I don't understand you," Alex finally confessed, causing Charles to look at him in confusion. "You detest violence, you love the human race, you want to protect all that is good and innocent. Then, you allow a man that's mission is to destroy the human race into your home. The same man that also paralyzed you and killed a man that you were in the head of. He is poison, but you let him live under the same roof," Alex provided by way of explanation, his voice conveying his confusion and frustration. His anger tinged his voice as well.

Charles gripped the arms of his wheelchair tightly, his jaw tightening, emotions flooding him. "I love him," Charles gritted out in a broken voice, and Alex regretted his words. It wasn't his place to judge Charles- to judge the man that had saved him. But Alex couldn't help but worry for the telepath; Alex was watching Charles go down a road blindly that seemed to lead to self-destruction.

"I'm sorry." Alex sounded guilty, and he escaped the suffocating confines of the upstairs lounge. Charles was once again left alone with his venomous thoughts and the equally horrible thoughts of the others.

The professor sighed and left the room, wandering the halls. Charles had begun feeling quite empty ever since Erik had moved in; the children had begun spending less and less time with Charles, and he missed them being constantly underfoot. Charles was beginning to become reclusive again, falling back into the pit of despair.

Charles had thought that Erik's return would help, but all Charles can think of is Erik's departure. It was like Charles was thrown back in time, to the days right after Erik had left. During those first few months, Charles had seen Erik in every little thing; he couldn't get away from the memories that Erik had left Charles with. It had been a bottomless pit of depression that Charles had only just begun climbing out of. Now, Erik was pushing him back down into the pit.

The children had been good distractions, and now Charles was left to face his own emotions alone.

Charles didn't realized he'd wandered outside until he felt the cool breeze and heard the leaves on the trees rustling. He heard the children's screams of laughter, and even Erik's deep laugh. Then, he spotted them. They were laying in the grass, Erik attacking them with tickles as the children laughed and rolled around.

The children ganged up on him and tackled him to the ground, Erik breaking their fall. The kids laughed more, and Erik 'begged' for mercy. Charles smiled, wishing he could join them in the game.

Then, the happiness in him faded away as he remembered why he couldn't play with them. The paralysis... the wheelchair... the bullet... Erik...

Charles was about to roll back into the mansion and crawl back into his hole when he heard the children scream "Daddy!" Charles turned just in time to see all three children running at him. They leapt into his lap, hugging Charles tightly. Erik watched with adoration, and Charles was almost surprised to see the look on Erik's face.