Memories

Chapter Thirty

"Come on, Raven, you can do this," Mystique murmured to herself, saying her own, given name out loud for the first time in years. She stood outside Hank's lab, trying to muster up the courage to speak to him. There was an awful pit in her stomach, and she was thankful she hadn't eaten breakfast because she was pretty sure that if she had, she would've thrown it up.

Right now, she couldn't be Mystique. Mystique was the cold spy for the Brotherhood. Right now, she needed to be Raven. Raven was sweet, heartfelt, even loving. That's who she needed to be to face Hank, to ask for forgiveness.

In a moment of blind fearlessness, she grabbed the handle and threw the door open. No going back now. Hank looked up, startled at the loud intrusion. He wasn't used to someone coming to the lab, especially since he'd already asked for no interruptions. He peered at his visitor through his goggles, thinking that it must be an emergency. When he spotted Raven, his body relaxed, only for him to stiffen once more when he remembered that it was Raven.

"Can I help you with something?" Hank asked after clearing his throat, averting his eyes from the gorgeous woman standing before him. He'd yearned to hold her in his arms again, to kiss her as if the world was ending just one more time, and now the woman that he's desired for so long was standing there, within arms' reach. It was all he could do to remain clutching his equipment so that his hands wouldn't reach for her.

"I just... I wanted to talk to you," Raven replied tentatively. She knew Hank could force her out, yell at her, refuse to speak to her. He had all the power, all the control, in that moment.

"Okay," Hank answered simply, a tightness in his throat. What could she possibly want to talk about?

"How have you been?" She asked awkwardly.

"I've been fine." And didn't that comment just rip her heart to shreds?

"That's good. Anything new going on?" Raven asked, moving towards him. Hank gently placed his equipment on the lab table, sighing. He wasn't going to be getting any work done until he satisfied her need for answers.

"Well, it happens that the people supposed to be my family's mortal enemies just moved in, basically forming a massive, dysfunctional step-family that are all walking around each other on eggshells, burying their hostilities for the sake of our father-figures' love-lives. So life's getting interesting." Hank's voice was dripping with sarcasm, his elbow leaning on the metal table, his chin resting in the palm of his hand.

Raven visibly flinched, and for a moment, Hank regretted his comment. "I'm sorry. I should go." Mystique turned to leave. "No, please, wait. I'm sorry, okay?" Hank said quickly, the mere sound of his voice stopping any of her forward progress. "I didn't mean to be so harsh. It's just, a lot has happened, and I haven't really processed it yet."

She turned back to him, hiding the hurt she felt. It was a horrible feeling he left deep inside her when he called her his enemy. She knew she'd caused this, put up this wall between herself and Hank, burned all bridges to the brilliant island that was Hank, but it was like he had plunged a dagger into her heart, twisted it, pulled it out, and poured salt in the wound he left.

"I'm staying, you know. I won't be going anywhere until Charles kicks us out," Raven whispered, her voice softer than Hank had ever heard. "Which he'll never do," Hank replied, smiling amusedly. She giggled, nodding in agreement. That wonderful, light bubbly sound made Beast's cold, distant exterior further melt, his eyes softening on her. It was almost like it was before; before they'd given each other the ammunition to hurt each other, until they'd truly been in love and gotten their hearts broken.

"I love your gift," Raven said softly, disturbing silence that had fallen upon them. He went back to fidgeting with his equipment, feeling once again like an awkward teenage boy with his crush. "It was nothing, really. I just thought you'd like it," Hank replied sheepishly, and Raven would bet that under that blue fur, Hank was blushing slightly.

"It's amazing, Hank," Raven corrected, pulling the necklace out of her shirt so it would hang in front of her shirt. She'd taken to wearing clothes again just so Charles wouldn't be so incredibly awkward and avoid looking at her. She'd come to realize that it might not have been the blue skin, but rather her lack of clothing, that bothered him.

The necklace, which had been Hank's gift to her, was a beautiful stone that was the same yellow as Raven's eyes on a silver chain. It was a clear sign that Hank finally accepted her natural form, and that was why it was the best gift she could possibly ever receive. Charles's gift to her had been a photograph that she didn't recall ever being taken. It had been of her, when she was younger, in her blue form. Charles was in the picture with her, doing something goofy while Raven laughed. It was framed, most likely taken by Charles's mother.

The woman might've been distant and an alcoholic, but she was loving and accepting of Raven at first. She'd taken her in and cared for her as if Raven was her daughter, and Raven couldn't have asked for more. For a year, they'd been a happy little trio. She'd been a mother, something that she hadn't even been when Charles's father was alive, until Marko had entered their lives.

The picture was definitely a highlight of her life, and Raven couldn't help but love her brother. He'd always wanted her to be happy, even doing an impression of a monkey- like in the picture- to make her happy.

"Well, after the way I treated you, you definitely deserve the best," Hank said, and Raven sighed.

"I don't want to keep bringing that up, okay? Hank, I've come to realize that that night- your words- they weren't about me or how I looked. It was about you- you couldn't accept yourself, and you didn't believe the world would accept either of us. If you can love this skin, the real me, we can move past that night. But that isn't my decision- it's yours." Raven finally put her feelings that she'd had for months into words, and it was one of the most freeing moments in her life.

Hank stared at her, so many emotions filtering across his face and expressive eyes. Confusion, surprise, hurt, regret, self-consciousness, pain, worry, and so many more all were there, in his eyes, as he stared at her with his mouth hanging open slightly, as if he was struggling for words.

With that, she wordlessly turned and walked out of his lab.