Atuality *editing*

Chapter 1

*Chris's POV*

After the funeral, we went home to set up what is supposed to be some kind of party.

The funeral was depressing, and what Jake said in the eulogy only made it worse. Not in a bad way, but it hurt because everything he said was true.

Not even me, her best friend, payed close attention to her or cared what she actually wanted or how she felt.

I blame myself for Max's death. If I would've shown up at the house sooner, she would still be here. If I didn't listen to Leo and brought my gun, she would still be here. If I didn't hesitate to go, she would still be here.

Guests started arriving. I walk over to grandma and grandpa and gave them a big hug and a fake smile.

People had to think I was fine.

I am fine.

"How have you been?" Grandma asked. "It must be hard with out Max around."

I'm terrible.

"I've actually been just fine," I said.

"Really?" She asked.

"Oh yeah," I said, forcing a laugh. "Just great."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," she said confused. "I'm going to go find the others. Do you know where they are?"

"I think David and Charlie are in the kitchen getting the food ready. Eddie is in the living room watching t.v.. Austin is outside with the dogs. Cole is doing who knows what. Ryden is practicing for his recital next week. I think Leo is upstairs."

"Ryden already has a recital coming up?" Grandpa asked.

"He's picking up on it fast," I said. "One of the fastest the teacher has ever seen. And he's been practicing hard."

"Well, I guess we're going to have to stay another week or two," grandpa said. "We can't miss that."

"Poor Leo must be devastated," grandma said. "Im going to go check up on him first."

"Okay," grandpa said. "Im going to go help David and Charlie set up."

"Well enjoy yourselves," I said. "I mean this is supposed to be a party right?"

After they left, my smile faded.

I looked around. Almost everyone here were complete strangers.

Even with everyone that I did know here, I still felt alone. Like no one feels the way I feel.

I decided to go sit down on the couch with Eddie and watch some t.v. and get my mind off of things. I needed to forget about everything for a while. I needed to feel fine for once.

The distraction didn't last long because a stranger walked up and sat down next to me.

"You're Max's brother right?" He asked.

"I was," I said.

"Was?" He asked.

"In case you haven't noticed, we just got back from her funeral," I said.

"That doesn't mean you're not her brother anymore," he said.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"I just wanted to say im sorry for what happened," he said.

"You know," I said. "I've been hearing that all day long and I'm really getting sick of it."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sure it must get annoying after a while doesn't it?"

"Yeah, you know what else is annoying?!" I started to yell. "Everyone talking about her like they knew her! None of you knew her!"

Everyone started staring and it got quiet.

"I was actually her english teacher", he said.

"Does it look like I care?" I said. "You didn't know her. You know what a good idea is? Not just for you, but for every body who isn't in this family? For you all to get out of my house!"

I walked away upstairs and went into my room. I slammed the door shut and layed down on my bed.

I started to cry. I've been holding it in for way to long, it felt good to let it out.