Atuality *editing*

Chapter 13

It's funny how one moment you can have it all together, feel powerful and happy, then a moment later, it's all gone.

That's exactly how it was when Max was taken away. One moment, I was the cheerful, goofy person I always was. The next, that person was gone. I was so focused on getting her out of that house, I didn't have time to make jokes or even laugh. Then as soon as I was confident enough that we would win the case, she died. And my world shattered. She was my best friend. She was always there for me like I was for her. She made me laugh. She was the reason I stayed smiling. And she was taken away from me in a matter of days.

Then there was Leo. Taken away from me over night. He was the reason I am where I am today. With a family. Clean from alcohol and drugs. If we hadn't found each other, I'd still be on the street with no one. After today, that doesn't seem like a bad thought anymore. If I didn't have anyone, I wouldn't have anyone to lose.

People may think it's crazy that I think my father has something to do with this. But how can this be a coincidence? He told me he was going to kill Leo and I woke up to find him dead. And honestly, I think that's the only thing I want to believe. I don't want to think that Leo killed himself. He just wasn't that kind of person. He never would've turned to that, he didn't believe in it. He didn't get how someone could end their life over a situation that could get better.

But this situation won't get better. It's going to get worse. Everyone I care about is going die. I know I'd be disappointing Leo by doing this, but I just can't seem to find another way out of this. I need to protect my friends, my family. I'm tired of feeling like this. Sad and afraid. It's no way to live.

All I can hear is my fathers voice saying that he's going to kill everyone I love, and then kill me.

I thought he was dead. Why did he wait all this time to get back at me? I thought all these nightmares were just dreams, but now I know they're real. No one believes me. In a way, I don't really blame them. I sound crazy. Everyone thought he was dead and to hear me say he's alive is pretty insane.

I can't talk to them about it anymore. They'll send me to a mental institution for sure. The only way out of this problem is to do this.

I looked in the mirror. I couldn't even recognize myself. The person in that mirror isn't Chris. Chris is a happy, goofy, outgoing person and so full of life. The person in the mirror is someone who hasn't eaten in weeks, he has bags under his eyes, he's broken and defeated, scared and angry. The only thing the two have in common is that they would do anything for their family.

I stared at the bottle of pills in my hand. It took me a while to open the bottle because my hands were shaking.

Flashbacks started going through my mind. All of them were back when we were all together again. But one really stood out.

Me, Max, Leo, Charlie, Austin, and Eddie were sitting on the couch at our old house on thanksgiving about four years ago. We were telling stories and laughing.

"Hey guys," Leo said. "I just wanted to say how thankful I am for you guys, as cheesy as it sounds."

He laughed a little.

"I think I'm ready to share about what happened to me at my parent's house," Max said.

We all stared at her wide eyed. This was the first time she has talked. When we were at the hospital the day we found her, we had found out the incident was really traumatic for her. So she didn't talk. We didn't say anything though. This was already hard for her to do. We didn't want to ruin it.

It felt like yesterday. It felt like the best feeling in the world hearing her talk for the first time in years since we took her in. I just wanted to hear her voice again.

I was no longer scared of doing this, but excited. Excited to see Max and Leo again. Excited to get rid of this empty feeling. Excited to be done with it all.

I put a handful of pills in my hand and stared at the mirror one last time before taking them all.

Everything started to get blury and I felt dizzy. Then I fell down onto the ground.

I heard someone run over to me. It was hard to make out who it was.

I couldn't help but feel angry that whoever it was, wouldn't leave me alone and that i was stupid enough to leave the door unlocked.

Pretty soon, I was engulfed into darkness.